Friday, January 20, 2012

Living Sacrifices (Part Three)


That next week proved to be uneventful only in the fact that he did not see the mystery man. That left Joe with plenty of time to plan his date with Felicitas. He gave himself a budget of $150, which worried Joe that it might seem excessive for a first date, but Polycarp gave him the green light and so he forged ahead. He knew of a fairly inexpensive French café with a view of the water for dinner. They would take a cab to the restaurant. After dinner they would walk a few blocks to a movie theatre. After the show, if the weather permitted, they would go on a harbor cruise and still be home before midnight. That was his plan anyway. As it actually happened, he only spent $15.
That Friday Joe got off an hour early. He came back to the Refuge and showered and changed his clothes. Then he read a book and waited for five-thirty when he was supposed to meet Felicitas. She had told him to meet her at Sam’s apartment. But before he went downstairs, Polycarp knocked on his door and came in.
“You ready for your big date?” he asked as he sat on the bed.
“I’m a little nervous, but, yeah, I think so.”
“Well, I already gave you the ‘don’t blow it with my little sister’ speech, so maybe I could just pray for you.”
“Thanks.”
“God… Joe’s a good guy. Help him to have a great time this evening and not to worry. Amen. Listen,” Polycarp continued, “I know you’re just getting on your feet, so let me help a little.” He handed Joe a twenty dollar bill, but when Joe protested he just said, “Take it, Joe. It makes me feel good to help you. Don’t you want your buddy to feel good?”
“Hey, if you don’t feel good, I don’t feel good.
Polycarp laughed. “So you’ll take it then?”
“Okay, man. Thanks.”
Joe headed down to Sam’s apartment thinking that he really didn’t need the money from Pol, but the gesture was nice. He knocked on Sam’s door. Felicitas answered. She was dressed casual in jeans and a grey blouse. It was fairly conservative, but Joe thought she looked great.
“Come on in, Joe. Sam wanted to wish us well.”
They walked back to the little kitchen where Joe had eaten lunch with them so long ago. Sam was at the table.
“So you two are going out tonight?” Sam began. “I hope I’m not too forward in saying that your date is the talk of the whole crew.”
“What does that mean?” Joe said smiling.
“Nothing bad, Joe. Let me just say it’s really interesting. I’ll leave it at that.”
“Fair enough.”
Outside they waited a couple of minutes for a cab. They got in back and told him where they wanted to go. They’d gone a mile or so when two things happened that changed their whole evening. First, it started to pour down rain, and then the cabbie hit a rather large pot hole and got a flat.
“Gotta let you out,” he said.
“What?” Felicitas and Joe said in unison.
“Company policy. I don’t even have a spare. Gotta let you out.”
“It’s raining,” Felicitas protested.
“Sorry.”
They opened the door and started to get out.
“That’ll be six fifty.”
“You’re kidding me,” Joe said.
“That’s how far I took ya. That’s what I gotta charge. Sorry.”
Joe paid and didn’t tip him. They got out and stepped on to the curb. They got soaked almost immediately.
“Look, Joe,” Felicitas said pointing. Up the block and across the street was a covered bus stand. They ran for cover and sat down. After they caught their breath, Joe looked at Felicitas.
“Well, that changes our plans, I suppose. I don’t want to go to a nice restaurant like this.”
“Me either.”
“Any ideas?”
“Way I see it, Joe, we can sit here till the rain stops, we can get another cab back to the Refuge, or we can go see what they’ve got to eat over there at that place.” She gestured at a rundown place across the street. There was a neon sign that said “Floyds” in the window.
“You serious?”
“To be honest, Joe, spending the evening with you is more important than where we spend it.”
Joe got up and extended his hand. “Then let me escort you to yonder food joint.”
She took his hand and they crossed the street to a little place that specialized in hot dogs. Inside were three tables, a juke box filled with oldies, and an ancient man standing by the cash register. He was wearing white painter’s pants, a black tee shirt with a giant jar of mustard on the front and one of those Greek fishermen’s hats. Behind him on the wall was a large hand-lettered menu with several dozen different hot dog variations listed in neat columns.
“Howya doin’ folks.”
“That’s a lot of hot dogs,” Joe said.”
“First time?”
“For me, yes,” Felicitas said.
“Then, just get the Special. You won’t be sorry.”
“So, two Specials?” Joe said as he looked at Felicitas.
“I’m game.”
“Sumpin’ to drink?” the old guy asked.
“I’ll have the lemonade,” Felicitas said.
“Make it two.”
“Lemme guess. You onna date and got caught in the rain.”
“How’d you know?” Joe asked.
“Nice couple. Dressed nice. Doan get that onna Fridee night much.”
“I think your place will do fine,” Felicitas offered.
“Name’s Floyd. Thanks. Tell you what. Drinks are onna house.”
“Thanks, Floyd.”
They sat down at one of the tables while Floyd made their meal. Suddenly Felicitas laughed out loud. Even Floyd looked over. “Oh man, I was so nervous about tonight, Joe.”
“Me too.”
“But look at us now.”
That made them both laugh, and Joe knew the evening would be okay. Pretty soon Floyd brought their meal over in plastic baskets. The Special turned out to be a big kosher frank stuffed with cheese with a side of sweet potato fries and a paper cup full of baked beans. They talked and ate and laughed. Floyd entertained them with stories of being in the Army and growing up in the city. Finally Floyd said, “Ya know, I probably ought to close up.” Joe looked at his phone. It was five till nine. They’d been there for almost three hours.
“Sorry, Floyd. I didn’t realize it was so late.”
“Sokay. You kids looked like you was having fun. I got nothing at home but an old tee-vee. Been good talking to ya.” He paused and then said, “Maybe you could come back again sometime.”
“Plan on it, Floyd,” Joe promised. He paid the bill and left a generous tip on the table. By now it had stopped raining. They took a cab and had an uneventful ride back to the Refuge. They took some coffee out to the courtyard and talked until after midnight. There was no kiss goodnight or verbal affirmations, but Joe knew as he turned out the light and went to sleep that he wanted to see a lot more of Felicitas.
That next evening just as Joe got back from work, Sam approached him.
“Joe, I need your help. We have a crisis downtown and everyone else is busy. It might take a while.”
“Sure, Sam. Let me put my stuff away.”
Sam filled him in on the details as they drove. A young man named Ethan had got drunk and punched his wife. He felt so guilty he jumped off a bridge. He survived, but both arms and one of his legs were broken.
“The wife is not going to press charges if he would get help,” Sam concluded.
“Let me guess, we’re the help.”
They arrived at the hospital and went to the desk. Sam needed to talk to someone responsible, but the gal behind the desk gave him a stack of forms to fill out. Everyone was worried about legal issues and insurance.
“Can I do some of that paperwork while you’re doing that other stuff?” Joe offered.
“That would be great Joe. Thanks.”
Sam took off down the hall, and Joe sat down with the forms and filled out what he could. Some of the questions he didn’t know he researched on the Internet on his smart phone. Other information he got by calling Polycarp. Finally Sam and a nurse brought Ethan out in a wheelchair. It had only been a couple of weeks since his attempted suicide, and he looked bad. Both arms and his right leg were in casts, his eyes and lips were swollen, and most of the exposed parts of his body were either bruised or bandaged. A home health care person was going to come to the Refuge every day for a few weeks, but Sam was taking responsibility for his daily care.
“Hand me those forms, Joe, and I’ll finish them up.”
“Here they are, but I think they’re mostly done.”
“That’s great,” he said surprised. “Let’s head back.”
They wheeled Ethan out to the van and managed to get him strapped into the front passenger seat. Joe put the wheelchair in the back and they drove gently back to the Refuge.
Maria and Felicitas had made a room for Ethan on the third floor. After figuring out how to get Ethan on the elevator they made it upstairs and met the women at Ethan’s new room. No sooner had they got him in bed when Sam got a call and had to leave. Ethan watched Sam go and then looked at Joe.
“I’ve gotta go.”
Joe looked at the gals and they looked at him. There was a long awkward pause and then Joe resigned himself to the inevitable.
“Okay, everyone out. I’ll take care of this.”
It was really the last thing Joe wanted to do right now. He didn’t want to help a stranger go to the bathroom and the fact that he hadn’t had dinner only made it worse. But there was no other option. He helped Ethan sit up and then got an arm around his waist. Somehow they both got through the bathroom door. Joe got Ethan’s pants down and then got Ethan on the toilet. Joe stepped back into the room and sat down. Pretty soon Ethan said “I’m done.” That’s when it occurred to Joe that the worst was yet to come. Ethan was going to need help wiping. Joe took a deep breath, prayed a silent prayer and went in and did the deed. He would have taken cleaning up after Eddie any day over this. He got Ethan’s clothes back in the right place, washed his hands, and called the gals back. They all got him back in bed and Joe headed downstairs to find some food.
Two weeks went by in a sort of routine. Joe would come home from work, get dinner, and then check on Ethan every hour. Thankfully he only had to help with the toilet one other time, but there was still the feedings. Ethan couldn’t bend his arms until the casts were off and so he had to be fed. They had chances to talk during this time and Joe found he looked forward to that even though his other duties were distasteful to him. He asked Sam about this and he said, “Sometimes we refer to ‘wet help’ and ‘dry help.’ Those terms are kind of coarse, but you get the point. Nurses, rest home workers and hospice are good at wet help. Pastors, counselors are good at dry help. There is no shame in shying away from body functions, Joe. It takes a certain kind of person to do that well on a regular basis.”
On the weekends Joe and Felicitas tried to make time to be together. They made it back to Floyd’s and tried different hot dogs each time. They were all good. One Saturday morning they were sitting in the coffee shop across from the Refuge and Joe expressed to Felicitas a conclusion he’d come to.
“You know, my trial month at the Refuge is almost up.”
“Yeah, Maria and I were talking about that last night.”
“I think the whole thing with Ethan has made me realize this is not where God has called me. I mean I love the Refuge. The people are incredible, and I get how valuable a ministry it is, but I’ve found myself dreading having to do certain things. That can’t be right.”
“Probably not, but you’ve covered that up pretty well. By that I mean that you’ve done the right thing without complaining even though your heart’s not in it.”
“I’m planning on talking to Sam about it next chance I get. He’s pretty busy.”
“That guy has more energy than anyone I know.”
“So, Felicitas,” Joe continued, “Where does that leave us?”
“Yeah.”
“I mean, right now, I want to spend more time with you, not less.”
“I feel the same way, Joe. I guess if I had to put my feelings into words, I’d say I feel like I’m kind of on a common path with you, and I’d like to see where it’s going. I do find myself thinking about you, well a lot, and if you move far away, it’s going to be a hard decision for me. I just don’t know if God’s will for you or me, and God’s will for us, are exactly the same thing. But I’d like to find out.”
“So would I.”
That next week Joe finally caught up with Sam and talked to him about leaving the Refuge.
“I kind of thought that might be true, Joe. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad you came. I’m glad you volunteered here. You don’t find out what you’re about sitting still.”
“That makes sense, but-“
“Can I tell you what I think, Joe?”
“Of course.”
“First of all, I think you have a heart that wants to serve God. Second, your next stop may not be your last. Following The Way is always in some way a journey. The key issue is to make yourself available. However, what I see in you is someone who has a strong desire to share your faith, someone who has the gift of mercy, and someone who has some deep administrative skills.”
“Why do you say that?”
“The way you handled all that paperwork at the hospital was impressive, Joe. Don’t think I didn’t notice. So, here is what I propose. Why don’t you stay here a few more days, let me make a few phone calls, and we’ll see if we can find something for you. Would that be okay?”
“Sam, you have already helped me more than I deserve.”
“Well, I’m doing this partly for Felicitas. She really likes you.”
“That works for me too. Thanks Sam.”
That night Bruiser knocked on Joe’s door. “Hey, man” he said as he came in, “I wanted to talk with you.”
“What’s up?”
“If you haven’t heard, I’m taking off.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m going the distance, Joe. I’m going to follow the Seven Truths.”
“I’m really glad to hear that, Bruiser.”
“That’s another thing. I’m not Bruiser anymore. My real name is Aaron.”
“Hi, Aaron.”
“Look, Joe, I’m taking off in the morning. I gotta make sure everything is okay with us.”
“Always with you. Always. But let me say something.”
“Okay.”
“Time’s coming when you are going to have to face the issue of forgiveness.”
“Okay.”
“I forgave you. That’s done. You need to forgive yourself. Okay?”
“Okay. Hey I’ve got to get packed and stuff. Thanks.”
“Keep in touch, Aaron.”
Questions:
1.       Why was it important for Joe to have to help Ethan?
2.       What did Sam mean by “You don’t find out what you’re about sitting still?”
3.       What’s wrong with not being able to forgive ourselves?

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