That next week proved to be
uneventful only in the fact that he did not see the mystery man. That left Joe
with plenty of time to plan his date with Felicitas. He gave himself a budget
of $150, which worried Joe that it might seem excessive for a first date, but
Polycarp gave him the green light and so he forged ahead. He knew of a fairly
inexpensive French café with a view of the water for dinner. They would take a
cab to the restaurant. After dinner they would walk a few blocks to a movie
theatre. After the show, if the weather permitted, they would go on a harbor
cruise and still be home before midnight. That was his plan anyway. As it
actually happened, he only spent $15.
That Friday Joe got off an hour
early. He came back to the Refuge and showered and changed his clothes. Then he
read a book and waited for five-thirty when he was supposed to meet Felicitas.
She had told him to meet her at Sam’s apartment. But before he went downstairs,
Polycarp knocked on his door and came in.
“You ready for your big date?” he
asked as he sat on the bed.
“I’m a little nervous, but, yeah, I
think so.”
“Well, I already gave you the
‘don’t blow it with my little sister’ speech, so maybe I could just pray for
you.”
“Thanks.”
“God… Joe’s a good guy. Help him to
have a great time this evening and not to worry. Amen. Listen,” Polycarp
continued, “I know you’re just getting on your feet, so let me help a little.”
He handed Joe a twenty dollar bill, but when Joe protested he just said, “Take
it, Joe. It makes me feel good to help you. Don’t you want your buddy to feel
good?”
“Hey, if you don’t feel good, I
don’t feel good.
Polycarp laughed. “So you’ll take
it then?”
“Okay, man. Thanks.”
Joe headed down to Sam’s apartment
thinking that he really didn’t need the money from Pol, but the gesture was
nice. He knocked on Sam’s door. Felicitas answered. She was dressed casual in
jeans and a grey blouse. It was fairly conservative, but Joe thought she looked
great.
“Come on in, Joe. Sam wanted to
wish us well.”
They walked back to the little
kitchen where Joe had eaten lunch with them so long ago. Sam was at the table.
“So you two are going out tonight?”
Sam began. “I hope I’m not too forward in saying that your date is the talk of
the whole crew.”
“What does that mean?” Joe said
smiling.
“Nothing bad, Joe. Let me just say
it’s really interesting. I’ll leave it at that.”
“Fair enough.”
Outside they waited a couple of
minutes for a cab. They got in back and told him where they wanted to go.
They’d gone a mile or so when two things happened that changed their whole
evening. First, it started to pour down rain, and then the cabbie hit a rather
large pot hole and got a flat.
“Gotta let you out,” he said.
“What?” Felicitas and Joe said in
unison.
“Company policy. I don’t even have
a spare. Gotta let you out.”
“It’s raining,” Felicitas
protested.
“Sorry.”
They opened the door and started to
get out.
“That’ll be six fifty.”
“You’re kidding me,” Joe said.
“That’s how far I took ya. That’s
what I gotta charge. Sorry.”
Joe paid and didn’t tip him. They
got out and stepped on to the curb. They got soaked almost immediately.
“Look, Joe,” Felicitas said
pointing. Up the block and across the street was a covered bus stand. They ran
for cover and sat down. After they caught their breath, Joe looked at
Felicitas.
“Well, that changes our plans, I
suppose. I don’t want to go to a nice restaurant like this.”
“Me either.”
“Any ideas?”
“Way I see it, Joe, we can sit here
till the rain stops, we can get another cab back to the Refuge, or we can go
see what they’ve got to eat over there at that place.” She gestured at a rundown
place across the street. There was a neon sign that said “Floyds” in the
window.
“You serious?”
“To be honest, Joe, spending the
evening with you is more important than where we spend it.”
Joe got up and extended his hand.
“Then let me escort you to yonder food joint.”
She took his hand and they crossed
the street to a little place that specialized in hot dogs. Inside were three
tables, a juke box filled with oldies, and an ancient man standing by the cash
register. He was wearing white painter’s pants, a black tee shirt with a giant
jar of mustard on the front and one of those Greek fishermen’s hats. Behind him
on the wall was a large hand-lettered menu with several dozen different hot dog
variations listed in neat columns.
“Howya doin’ folks.”
“That’s a lot of hot dogs,” Joe
said.”
“First time?”
“For me, yes,” Felicitas said.
“Then, just get the Special. You
won’t be sorry.”
“So, two Specials?” Joe said as he
looked at Felicitas.
“I’m game.”
“Sumpin’ to drink?” the old guy
asked.
“I’ll have the lemonade,” Felicitas
said.
“Make it two.”
“Lemme guess. You onna date and got
caught in the rain.”
“How’d you know?” Joe asked.
“Nice couple. Dressed nice. Doan get
that onna Fridee night much.”
“I think your place will do fine,”
Felicitas offered.
“Name’s Floyd. Thanks. Tell you what.
Drinks are onna house.”
“Thanks, Floyd.”
They sat down at one of the tables
while Floyd made their meal. Suddenly Felicitas laughed out loud. Even Floyd
looked over. “Oh man, I was so nervous about tonight, Joe.”
“Me too.”
“But look at us now.”
That made them both laugh, and Joe
knew the evening would be okay. Pretty soon Floyd brought their meal over in
plastic baskets. The Special turned out to be a big kosher frank stuffed with
cheese with a side of sweet potato fries and a paper cup full of baked beans.
They talked and ate and laughed. Floyd entertained them with stories of being
in the Army and growing up in the city. Finally Floyd said, “Ya know, I
probably ought to close up.” Joe looked at his phone. It was five till nine.
They’d been there for almost three hours.
“Sorry, Floyd. I didn’t realize it
was so late.”
“Sokay. You kids looked like you
was having fun. I got nothing at home but an old tee-vee. Been good talking to
ya.” He paused and then said, “Maybe you could come back again sometime.”
“Plan on it, Floyd,” Joe promised.
He paid the bill and left a generous tip on the table. By now it had stopped
raining. They took a cab and had an uneventful ride back to the Refuge. They
took some coffee out to the courtyard and talked until after midnight. There
was no kiss goodnight or verbal affirmations, but Joe knew as he turned out the
light and went to sleep that he wanted to see a lot more of Felicitas.
That next evening just as Joe got
back from work, Sam approached him.
“Joe, I need your help. We have a
crisis downtown and everyone else is busy. It might take a while.”
“Sure, Sam. Let me put my stuff
away.”
Sam filled him in on the details as
they drove. A young man named Ethan had got drunk and punched his wife. He felt
so guilty he jumped off a bridge. He survived, but both arms and one of his
legs were broken.
“The wife is not going to press
charges if he would get help,” Sam concluded.
“Let me guess, we’re the help.”
They arrived at the hospital and
went to the desk. Sam needed to talk to someone responsible, but the gal behind
the desk gave him a stack of forms to fill out. Everyone was worried about
legal issues and insurance.
“Can I do some of that paperwork
while you’re doing that other stuff?” Joe offered.
“That would be great Joe. Thanks.”
Sam took off down the hall, and Joe
sat down with the forms and filled out what he could. Some of the questions he
didn’t know he researched on the Internet on his smart phone. Other information
he got by calling Polycarp. Finally Sam and a nurse brought Ethan out in a
wheelchair. It had only been a couple of weeks since his attempted suicide, and
he looked bad. Both arms and his right leg were in casts, his eyes and lips
were swollen, and most of the exposed parts of his body were either bruised or
bandaged. A home health care person was going to come to the Refuge every day
for a few weeks, but Sam was taking responsibility for his daily care.
“Hand me those forms, Joe, and I’ll
finish them up.”
“Here they are, but I think they’re
mostly done.”
“That’s great,” he said surprised.
“Let’s head back.”
They wheeled Ethan out to the van
and managed to get him strapped into the front passenger seat. Joe put the
wheelchair in the back and they drove gently back to the Refuge.
Maria and Felicitas had made a room
for Ethan on the third floor. After figuring out how to get Ethan on the
elevator they made it upstairs and met the women at Ethan’s new room. No sooner
had they got him in bed when Sam got a call and had to leave. Ethan watched Sam
go and then looked at Joe.
“I’ve gotta go.”
Joe looked at the gals and they
looked at him. There was a long awkward pause and then Joe resigned himself to
the inevitable.
“Okay, everyone out. I’ll take care
of this.”
It was really the last thing Joe
wanted to do right now. He didn’t want to help a stranger go to the bathroom
and the fact that he hadn’t had dinner only made it worse. But there was no
other option. He helped Ethan sit up and then got an arm around his waist.
Somehow they both got through the bathroom door. Joe got Ethan’s pants down and
then got Ethan on the toilet. Joe stepped back into the room and sat down.
Pretty soon Ethan said “I’m done.” That’s when it occurred to Joe that the
worst was yet to come. Ethan was going to need help wiping. Joe took a deep
breath, prayed a silent prayer and went in and did the deed. He would have
taken cleaning up after Eddie any day over this. He got Ethan’s clothes back in
the right place, washed his hands, and called the gals back. They all got him
back in bed and Joe headed downstairs to find some food.
Two weeks went by in a sort of
routine. Joe would come home from work, get dinner, and then check on Ethan
every hour. Thankfully he only had to help with the toilet one other time, but
there was still the feedings. Ethan couldn’t bend his arms until the casts were
off and so he had to be fed. They had chances to talk during this time and Joe
found he looked forward to that even though his other duties were distasteful
to him. He asked Sam about this and he said, “Sometimes we refer to ‘wet help’
and ‘dry help.’ Those terms are kind of coarse, but you get the point. Nurses,
rest home workers and hospice are good at wet help. Pastors, counselors are
good at dry help. There is no shame in shying away from body functions, Joe. It
takes a certain kind of person to do that well on a regular basis.”
On the weekends Joe and Felicitas
tried to make time to be together. They made it back to Floyd’s and tried
different hot dogs each time. They were all good. One Saturday morning they
were sitting in the coffee shop across from the Refuge and Joe expressed to
Felicitas a conclusion he’d come to.
“You know, my trial month at the
Refuge is almost up.”
“Yeah, Maria and I were talking
about that last night.”
“I think the whole thing with Ethan
has made me realize this is not where God has called me. I mean I love the
Refuge. The people are incredible, and I get how valuable a ministry it is, but
I’ve found myself dreading having to do certain things. That can’t be right.”
“Probably not, but you’ve covered
that up pretty well. By that I mean that you’ve done the right thing without
complaining even though your heart’s not in it.”
“I’m planning on talking to Sam
about it next chance I get. He’s pretty busy.”
“That guy has more energy than
anyone I know.”
“So, Felicitas,” Joe continued,
“Where does that leave us?”
“Yeah.”
“I mean, right now, I want to spend
more time with you, not less.”
“I feel the same way, Joe. I guess
if I had to put my feelings into words, I’d say I feel like I’m kind of on a
common path with you, and I’d like to see where it’s going. I do find myself
thinking about you, well a lot, and if you move far away, it’s going to be a
hard decision for me. I just don’t know if God’s will for you or me, and God’s
will for us, are exactly the same thing. But I’d like to find out.”
“So would I.”
That next week Joe finally caught
up with Sam and talked to him about leaving the Refuge.
“I kind of thought that might be
true, Joe. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad you came. I’m glad you volunteered
here. You don’t find out what you’re about sitting still.”
“That makes sense, but-“
“Can I tell you what I think, Joe?”
“Of course.”
“First of all, I think you have a
heart that wants to serve God. Second, your next stop may not be your last.
Following The Way is always in some way a journey. The key issue is to make
yourself available. However, what I see in you is someone who has a strong
desire to share your faith, someone who has the gift of mercy, and someone who
has some deep administrative skills.”
“Why do you say that?”
“The way you handled all that
paperwork at the hospital was impressive, Joe. Don’t think I didn’t notice. So,
here is what I propose. Why don’t you stay here a few more days, let me make a
few phone calls, and we’ll see if we can find something for you. Would that be
okay?”
“Sam, you have already helped me
more than I deserve.”
“Well, I’m doing this partly for
Felicitas. She really likes you.”
“That works for me too. Thanks
Sam.”
That night Bruiser knocked on Joe’s
door. “Hey, man” he said as he came in, “I wanted to talk with you.”
“What’s up?”
“If you haven’t heard, I’m taking
off.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m going the distance, Joe. I’m
going to follow the Seven Truths.”
“I’m really glad to hear that,
Bruiser.”
“That’s another thing. I’m not
Bruiser anymore. My real name is Aaron.”
“Hi, Aaron.”
“Look, Joe, I’m taking off in the
morning. I gotta make sure everything is okay with us.”
“Always with you. Always. But let
me say something.”
“Okay.”
“Time’s coming when you are going
to have to face the issue of forgiveness.”
“Okay.”
“I forgave you. That’s done. You
need to forgive yourself. Okay?”
“Okay. Hey I’ve got to get packed
and stuff. Thanks.”
“Keep in touch, Aaron.”
Questions:
1. Why
was it important for Joe to have to help Ethan?
2. What
did Sam mean by “You don’t find out what you’re about sitting still?”
3. What’s
wrong with not being able to forgive ourselves?
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