The Second Greatest Commandment (Part Two)

Mike began:

Bobby was one of those kids…you find them in almost every school. He wasn’t good looking, or smart, or athletic. In other words Bobby failed at the three cardinal values that rule the social dynamic of most school children. In a lot of people’s eyes Bobby was a loser. To make matters worse, Bobby’s dad was a disabled veteran and couldn’t work. They got by, but there was little money to spend on luxuries like fashionable clothes and cool toys. He only had four sets of clothes: two for school, one for play or work and one for church. Needless to say, Bobby was a bottom feeder at school. He didn’t have any close friends, he never got invited to parties, and he was the constant butt of jokes from the crème de la crème. I wish I could tell you there was some trade off: that Bobby was, for example, a good artist or musician. But that was not the case. In every area where he might have counter-balanced his failure at the cardinal values, Bobby was painfully average.

There are people, who for one reason or another, decide to live alone. They move into a little cabin in the woods, or they stay locked up in their apartment. But there are other people, people like Bobby, who are alone not by their choice, but by those who continually reject them. Even worse for these kind of people is that they are alone in a crowd. That was Bobby’s life. There is a cruel irony in being the focus of so much attention and yet all alone. Even so, to his credit, Bobby managed. He got through grade school and middle school mostly because a few good teachers knew the score and felt sorry for him. High school was tougher but he stayed out of everyone’s way and graduated with his class. He compensated for his lack of a social life (and social skills) by spending copious amounts of time on the computers at the county library.

Bobby didn’t have great dreams for his future-can you blame him?-but he did want to go to college. He enrolled in a community college part time and paid the bills working at a video store. He now enjoyed an anonymity he’d never had growing up. He went to class and everybody left him alone. But that was all to change. The first Friday of November was Homecoming at his old high school and Bobby decided to attend the game. He got off work a little early and made it to the game by the second quarter. He sat by himself, ate a bag of popcorn and cheered his team. They lost 21-24 in overtime. Because he came late he’d had to park in the overflow lot. Almost everyone was gone by the time he got to his car. He was just getting his keys out of his pocket when he heard something from his past. It gave him a little sick feeling.

“Hey Bobby!” someone yelled from behind. He knew it was not an old friend or a teacher. It was a former harasser. He turned around. There were actually seven of them, all from his class, all former jocks. They were standing around a pickup in their designer jeans and lettermen’s jackets. When Bobby saw the beer bottle in one kid’s hand his heart sank. When they started his way, he slumped against his car and waited for the inevitable ridicule. He knew these boys: Jared sat behind him in Algebra class. He entertained himself by bumping Bobby’s elbow when he tried to write. Every paper he turned in that year had long unexplainable pencil lines on it. Sean and Justin were with him in P.E. He would never forget the time they pulled his shorts down in front of the girls’ class. Then there was Brian. He made the mistake of telling Brian during their junior year that he wanted to go to the prom with Elaine Pierce. She was a rung or two above him on the social ladder (who wasn’t?), but Bobby thought she just might go because she’d smiled at him once during lunch. Brian was friends with her brother. Maybe he’d heard something? Brian responded one morning by declaring over the intercom to the whole school everything Bobby had said. It was a big joke to everyone. Elaine’s feelings got hurt. Bobby never asked anyone to the prom. Not that year or the next. It didn’t make him feel better that Brian got detention for the prank. J.R. wasn’t a problem when he was by himself, but when he got with his buddies he was unbearable. Dean was the polar opposite of Bobby. He had the whole package: he was good looking, smart, athletic, popular, and rich. Bobby wasn’t even a blip on his radar. When they passed in the hall, Dean looked right through him. He was the leader of almost every group to which he attached himself, including this one. Then there was Aaron. He was cocky, arrogant and loud. He probably annoyed a lot of people, but he took special pleasure in making Bobby’s day a chore. He knocked his books out of his hands, he threw Bobby’s ball cap out the window of the bus, he tripped him in the lunch line and on and on.

So imagine Bobby leaning against his car alone, facing what represented a lifetime of ridicule. “Hi, Bobby” Aaron said a little too loud, “what’re you doin’?”

“I’m just going home from the game, Aaron.”

“Wanna drink?” someone asked.

“No. I don’t drink.” But someone threw a beer at him. It hit his car and beer splattered all over his jacket.

“Thanks a lot, you guys!” Bobby protested. If he’d let it go at that point they might have left him alone, but Bobby kicked at the beer can out of disgust. No one was more surprised than Bobby to see it fly up and hit Justin in the forehead. The can was mostly empty, and couldn’t have hurt that much, but Justin yelled out in pain. Now there was a pride issue. No one was going to let Bobby get the best of them. Bobby knew that too. He turned without a word and ran across the dirt lot. He knew a trail by the river. Maybe he could lose them in the dark. At the end of the parking lot was a row of bushes between him and the river. He didn’t hesitate. He bolted right through. He heard some part of his clothing tear, but he didn’t have time to think about that. He found the trail and ran. There was no way he could outrun any of these boys, but he felt he had no other options. He heard footsteps and heavy breathing behind him and ran harder. Branches whipped his body and tore at his clothes as he ran. Twice he stumbled on a rock or a root. Then, just as he came around a bend in the river, he ran right into someone. They both fell. It was Brian. Somehow he’d gone a different way and gotten ahead. A moment later he was surrounded by all seven boys.

“Hey, Bobby, why are you running?”

“What are you afraid of, Bobby?”

“You got beer on my shirt, butthead. What’re you going to do about that?”

Bobby started to apologize, but someone pushed him. He fell onto someone else who pushed him back. Then Sean, who was the biggest of the bunch, grabbed Bobby from behind and threw him into the mud next to the river.

“Leave me alone!” Bobby yelled.

“Listen, Bobby.” It was Dean. Those were probably the first words he’d ever spoken to him. “I don’t think we should beat you up, but I do think justice must be done. Don’t you think so guys?” Everyone agreed. “So I say each one of us gets to punch Bobby once, but not in the face. Then we’ll be even.”

They took turns, these athletes, these school heroes, punching a defenseless kid. It wasn’t the pain so much that hurt, but the humiliation. Someone hit him between the shoulder blades and knocked him to his knees. That’s when the tears came. “I’ll get even, you jerks!” Bobby screamed. This actually made them laugh, and the punches kept coming. When they were done with him nobody said a word. They just stood over him and stared. Then Dean said, “let’s go,” and they all left. As a nice parting gesture, J.R. pushed him back in the mud.

Imagine Bobby’s situation: his clothes were torn, he smelled of beer and he had seven bruises, one for each person who punched him. He thought he was done with this. In school he could almost expect the negative attention, but here he was kneeling in the mud in the dark all alone…again. He got up and walked back to his car. When he got there he saw that someone had keyed his car. They scratched “Loser” on the driver’s door. He stood there and looked at that message. He sighed. Then Bobby just shrunk into himself. He’d go inside where no one could find him-or hurt him-again. Maybe they were right. He’d probably be nothing more than a lonely loser for the rest of his life. One thing was for sure though: he would get even. It took over a year, but Bobby kept his vow.

The next day Bobby went to work at the video store still angry about the events of the night before. All during his shift he considered different ways he might get back at them. There were a hundred movies right there in the room in which vengeance was the driving force. But Bobby was not going to kill anyone, or do karate on them, or work out until he could beat them all up in a big showdown. As his anger abated Bobby began to think more clearly. He began to have a glimpse of what his life was about. He thought about some of those lessons he’d learned so long ago in Sunday school. In fact, Bobby had an epiphany: people aren’t born jerks. Those boys had to learn how to act that way. Something was wrong with the picture and Bobby had figured it out. He knew what he was going to do. After work he drove to the college and went to the library. He logged on to one of the computers and began researching. He wanted to find out all he could about these seven boys. For the next three weeks all of Bobby’s spare time was spent in research. He used the internet, he asked discreet questions of people that knew the boys, and he kept his eyes and ears open. He took lots of notes on a yellow pad and kept it in his backpack. By Thanksgiving, he had almost filled the pad. Then he went to work. Bobby had a plan and he was going to get even.

All through that school year and into the summer Bobby executed his plan. One by one, little by little he showed the love of God to these boys. He knew where they hung out, where they went to school, what they were involved in. He knew, because of the whole male ego thing, that he would have to be subtle. He also knew that any act of kindness could be taken the wrong way. Bobby reasoned that it was always better to love someone and be misunderstood than to never reach out to them at all. Bobby even went so far as to buy clothes that were more in their style so he might fit in better.

After Christmas, something happened that Bobby had not anticipated. He got a call from Sean. They met at Starbucks. They had barely sat down when Sean started asking deep questions about life, God and eternity. Before they left Sean was a follower of the Way. Sean talked to Justin and they compared notes. Two weeks later Justin was a follower also. The three of them starting meeting weekly to talk about the Bible. Then things started escalating. The word got out among the boys about some of the things Bobby had done. Some of the boys came to the meetings just to apologize and then just kept coming back. Soon after that they started bringing their girlfriends. By spring Jared was coming with his girlfriend, Sean was still coming, Justin brought his girlfriend, Brian brought his, and Aaron and his new girlfriend Melissa were coming, nine in all. Of the seven boys only Dean and J.R. were absent. They were both away at the University. When the weather got better the group started meeting at a local park. Other people dropped in and by May the group had grown to fourteen. Not all of them were believers, but most of them were and the others were asking a lot of questions.

It was hard for Bobby to process all this. People were being friendly to him. People were listening to what he had to say. There was an acceptance in this group he’d never known. But just when he thought it couldn’t get any weirder, Jennifer London showed up one evening. Jennifer was Dean’s girlfriend. She had also been a cheerleader and probably the prettiest girl in school. She sat next to Melissa and didn’t say a word the whole time. When it was over, and people were going home or playing with Frisbees, Jennifer came up to Bobby.

“Bobby can I talk to you for a few minutes?” she asked.

“Sure.”

“I heard you bought Christmas presents for Sean’s family.”

“I did,” Bobby said not being able to make eye contact.

“And I heard you helped Aaron’s dad get a job. How did you do that?”

“I knew he was out of work, and I found out about an opening he might have been qualified for…you know, I just sort of helped him out.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Bobby, but why?”

“Let’s just say I’m trying to learn how to love people better. God loves me, and I wanted to pass it on. You know, pay it forward.”

“I also know what those boys did to you at Homecoming. I told Dean it was a horrible thing to do.”

“Thanks.”

“Well that’s just it, Bobby, I want to thank you. You have got me thinking about what’s really important in life, and I want to find out more.”

So that evening as the sun was setting Bobby sat at a picnic table with Jennifer, Melissa and Aaron and talked about the Way. He read parts of the Gospel stories to them. He answered as many questions as he could. The rest he wrote down. Finally Jennifer said, “It all makes sense. What do I need to do to follow Jesus?” Bobby turned to a passage in the Bible. “Look what Jesus said here, Jennifer. If we want to be his disciple we need to take up our cross and follow him. That means we need to die to our desires and live for his. He wants to forgive all our misdeeds. He wants to lead us through this life and into eternity. All you need to do is ask.”

“Do you mean pray?” she asked.

“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”

“I’m ready, then.”

And so they prayed and Jennifer became a disciple of Jesus that night. She started attending the weekly gatherings in the park. Two days after Dean came home from college, she broke up with him. Every week she seemed to have more questions, and every week she grew more in her faith. Then in July she told the group, “I want to tell you all something that’s really exciting to me. Not long after I became a believer I started attending a church in our neighborhood. One Sunday a missionary came to speak and I was moved to tears by her story. Ever since then I have not been able to quit thinking about being a missionary. Instead of transferring to the University this fall, I think I’m going to go to a Bible college my pastor told me about. He made some phone calls, and they are willing to take me at this late date. I think this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

The whole group was happy for her, no one less than Bobby. But not everyone was happy as Bobby was soon to find out. Two nights later he was leaving work when J.R. approached him. Bobby hadn’t seen him since that night after the football game.

“What do you think you’re doing, man?” J.R. asked.

Bobby knew what he was referring to, but he played dumb. “What do you mean?”

“Do you think you are better than everyone else? You got all these people going to your little God group. What’s with that?”

“Look, J.R. I’m not forcing them to come…”

“I don’t care!” he yelled. “And why did you send my mom those flowers?”

“She was in the hospital. She’s got cancer.”

“I know what she’s got!” He was screaming now just inches from Bobby’s face. “But how do you know? Listen, stay out of my family’s life! You’re nothing! You’ve got no right! Go back to Loserville where you belong.”

“J.R., please…”

Then, without warning, J.R. slapped him so hard Bobby saw stars. He stumbled back a step, fighting anger. But Bobby knew what was at stake here. He knew what he had to do: nothing. He stood there, hands at his side and J.R. slapped him again. It really hurt, but he couldn’t retaliate. Even J.R. was surprised. He looked at Bobby with death in his eyes. “I hate you, you little worm,” he said. Then he got in his car and burned rubber down the street. Bobby locked the store and left a few minutes later. When he got a mile or so down the road he saw J.R. His car was pulled over on the shoulder and he was sitting on the hood. Bobby pulled over. As he walked up to the car, J.R. held up his hand, “Don’t say anything, Bobby. Just let me talk…Okay, I’m really mad at you as you can tell. I shouldn’t have hit you back there, and…I shouldn’t have hurt you at Homecoming. For all that I’m sorry. But my life really sucks right now, and I don’t need this complication.”

“What do you mean?” Bobby asked.

“You know what I mean, Bobby. All this God stuff has got me really confused.”

“But, I haven’t said anything to you, J.R. I haven’t even seen you since…”

“Yeah, I know, but everyone else is talking about it. I get at least one email a day telling me how I need to come to your group when I get home. Now my best friend is depressed because his girlfriend broke up with him to be a missionary. I don’t know what to think.”

“Do you think there is a God, J.R.?’ Bobby asked.

“Uh, what? Yeah, I guess. I’ve never thought much about it, but yeah, I think there is a God, why?”

“Well, if there is a God, and if he is powerful enough to make this world and put you in it doesn’t that kind of mean that your life has some kind of bigger purpose?”

“Dude, I told you…”

“God loves you, J.R.”

“Damn you, Bobby,” he said softly, and slid off the car and walked out into a field. Bobby could hear his legs swishing through the tall grass. He was about to call after him when he heard J.R’s disembodied voice, “Why don’t you just go, Bobby. Leave me alone.”

“No, I’m not going to go,” Bobby yelled. He leaned against the car and waited. Ten minutes passed, then fifteen, before he heard him coming back.

“Alright, Bobby, I think I figured something out. Most of the people I know, myself included, have hassled you for as long as I can remember, and for what? Maybe you were a kind of geek, but you know what? You took it all. In some way, Bobby, you were better, and stronger than all of us. None of us could have taken that kind of abuse. But here you are trying to tell me about Jesus after all I’ve done to you, all I’ve said…”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay! You’ve got something, Bobby, and all my teasing and yelling is just a cover up, because I don’t have it. But here’s the thing: I don’t want all the baggage, you know, the church stuff and wearing ties and not going to movies.”

‘Nobody worries about those things anymore, J.R. Besides, following God can never be worse than ignoring or rejecting him. If he exists, everything has to fit in with him. You don’t put God into your life; you put your life into him.”

“Well, I think you’re right, but I’m not ready to make a big change right now.”

“You can think about it and we can talk later,” Bobby said. There was a long pause, then J.R. said, “No, there’s nothing more to think about. Alright. Alrightalrightalright!”

They prayed right there on the side of the road. J.R. asked God to forgive him. He asked if he could be a follower. He committed his life to the Lord. Before they left, Bobby asked, “did you really mean that, J.R, about me, I mean?’

“Yeah, I don’t think you’re a geek anymore. See you around.”

“Thanks”

That summer was pure heaven for Bobby. His group spun off two more groups who found it too far to drive. By the time school started back up over forty people were meeting in the three groups. Bobby signed up for a couple of classes and kept his job at the video store, but he found that he looked forward to leading that group than anything else he did. He really enjoyed the teaching. He began to nurture a thought that maybe there was something more for him. Something he’d been afraid to hope for until now. He had a great future ahead of him, and Bobby would be a positive influence in hundreds of lives, but at the moment there was still one piece of unfinished business.

Bobby went to several football games that fall, and almost always he went with someone, or sat with someone he could now call a friend. But Homecoming week came and Bobby felt kind of odd. J.R. emailed him saying he would be in town, and so he and Bobby went together. During halftime J.R. said: “Bobby…Dean called me. He wants to talk to you. I told him I would ask.”

‘”What’s he want, do you know?”

“He wouldn’t say. He said he would be waiting during halftime by the concessions. If it’s okay with you, I’ll go get him.”

“Where will you be?”

“I’ll be around. He wants to talk to you alone. That’s all I know.”

“Okay. I’ll wait here.”

J.R. left and a few minutes later he saw Dean coming up the stairs looking for him. He stood up and Dean came over and sat down. He didn’t look happy.

With no introduction Dean said, “You’re a piece of work, Bobby.” Bobby didn’t respond. “Who do you think you are, anyway...? I don’t know whether to kick your butt, or walk away and forget about you forever.”

At that point Bobby got a little impatient, “Hey, Dean, why don’t you cut through all the drama and get to the point? What do you want?”

“Oh, is this the new, tough Bobby?”

“No, I’m the same Bobby. I just have more important things to do than listen to you whine. If you want to talk, then let’s talk.”

Dean wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He wasn’t used to people challenging him. They sat for a few minutes watching the band perform and finally Dean said, “Here’s how I see it. I hurt you and so you tried to hurt me.”

“It’s not like that, Dean. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to hurt you, all of you. You were wrong, but I also understood that there were some other things at stake.”

“I don’t think you do understand. I’ve lost everything that means anything to me, and it’s all because of you. You took away my friends, and Jennifer…she won’t even answer my mail.”

“That wasn’t what I wanted.”

“Yes it was! You said at the river ‘I’ll get even.’ That is what you’ve set out to do.”

“Not in the way you think. I decided to counter your arrogance with something else.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“Well, it might sound a little cheesy, but I just tried to love you guys. That’s all.”

“Some love, Bobby. You tore my girlfriend out of my life.”

“Jennifer came to our group all on her own. What she decided to do had nothing to do with me.”

Dean disregarded his comment, ‘”Why did you do this to me?”

“What are you talking about? Nothing was done to you or about you. You are not the center of the universe, Dean. Look, I know your story. I know your twin brother died when you were five. I know your parents have given you everything a child could want or dream of. That was their decision, but not all life works that way. You are a person; you stand complete before God if you let him. You don’t need your friends, or Jennifer to determine the meaning of your life.”

“Don’t bring your religion into this.” Dean responded.

“Why not? I believe there is a God who decided in his wisdom to cause my existence--and yours. If that’s true then everything changes. Everything in this life has to fit with that big truth or life has no meaning.”

“I’m not even sure there is a God.” He stood. “Halftime’s over, I gotta go.”

“So, where do we stand, Dean?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah, good question. Give me your email. I’ll drop you a line.”

Bobby wrote it down and gave it to Dean. Even though he didn’t see Dean again for several years, they dialogued over the internet. Bobby tried to answer his questions, but Dean always seemed to have more. Then one day Bobby got an email from him. All it said was, ‘You’re even, Bobby. Thanks for everything. Dean.’
Questions:

1.       How might “Bobby Gets Even” illustrate the second greatest commandment?