Back to the Garden

“I wonder where this goes?” Mary thought as she saw the little overgrown trail diverge from the one she’d been exploring. She’d been out that day enjoying the warm day and looking for some easy trips for her kids. She was right outside of town, so this could be just what she was looking for. She thought, “I’ll just go a little ways and see what’s there.” As it turned out, it was a short walk. The trail took her to the top of a little knoll. She found what used to be an attractive garden. There was a low stone wall circling the top of the knoll and an arch where the trail ended. She entered the garden. It was overgrown with weeds.

“This is great,” she said out loud as she looked around. There was a view of the city and off in the distance she could see a mountain range. “Nice.” Then she noticed something in the weeds. At the far end facing the city was a monument just slightly higher than the wall. There was some kind of inscription on the top. Mary brushed off the dirt to see if she could read it.

“Joseph Matthews,” she read. “Doesn’t ring a bell.” She looked at his dates and was surprised to see that the monument was almost seventy five years old. This guy Joseph had lived a long time ago. Below the dates she read:

“Psalm 112:6 “A righteous man will be remembered forever.”

On the first anniversary of his death we dedicate this monument as a tribute to a man who had a profound impact on this city. He never owned a home, preferring to live in apartments all his life. He never held office and yet many leaders in this city looked to him as their spiritual mentor. He was not an ordained minister, but the masses of people he ministered to, mostly one at a time, can hardly be counted. It has been said that “each person in the world is the center of an ever-expanding circle of influence that transcends time and space.” There is no one in our experience who more embodied that truth than Joe. The following is a short, but by no means comprehensive, listing of the things done by some of those whom Joe had introduced to the Way: Eight churches were planted, a Bible school and seminary founded, a food bank, a performing arts center and a job training center, not to mention The Cherrywood Foundation, were all established by “Joe’s People” as they came to be called. We are honored to be called by that name, and hopefully we honor his memory with this testimony. Joe would not want this honor. He notoriously shied away from the banquets and accolades others wanted to bestow on him. We hope this will inspire many to live the way Joe lived in total service to God.

Mary looked up from the monument. “Somebody ought to pull these weeds,” she said and knelt down and starting working.

The Race Marked Out For Us Part Two

The old man stood outside the car. He hadn’t driven in years. Getting in the car was not going to be easy. His back was killing him and the arthritis in his knees was screaming for attention. Eighty six years hadn’t done any favors to his body. But once he got in he couldn’t remember if he’d brought the keys. When he found the keys he couldn’t remember which key it was. Then he found it, started the car and drove slowly out of the complex.

He was probably driving too slow. Other cars zipped past and some kid in a big pickup tailgated him all the way out of town. Then he passed and blew his horn at him. But after that it was smooth sailing. He just kept both hands on the wheel and let the cruise control take over. It was good to be driving again. Elisabeth would probably lecture him for it, but he could handle that. She wasn’t prone to nagging, and he knew she loved him. After all these years and the kids and the grandkids and the waking up to each other across the bed, yeah, he knew she loved him. Plus she told him. She told him with her eyes and her voice and her body language. She told him in church when she’d reach over and lay her hand on his. She told him when they were at an event and he overheard her talking to her friends and heard his name come up and heard the pride in her voice and she’d look over and see him looking at her and she’d smile and then go on talking.

The city turned to residential and the residential turned to rural and pretty soon all he could see on both sides of the highway was acres and acres of farm land. It was a vast plain of growing things. He rolled down the window and took in the earthy smells. It was great-for a while-then he got cold and had to roll the window back up. Then he had to turn on the heater. He couldn’t remember how to turn on the heater and he almost drove off the road. Then he remembered. The hot air felt good on his face.

After an hour or so, he noticed the top of a mountain peaking over the horizon off to his right, and he knew right away that’s where he was going. The closer he got to the mountain, the larger it appeared. He came to a crossroads, turned right and now the mountain was directly in front of him. The highway became a country road and the country road became a gravel road and the gravel road became a dirt road. For a while he couldn’t see the mountain. Then the road curved and there it was, off in the distance. Forty minutes later it was all he could see. There were big, tall trees on both sides of the road, and this magnificent mountain dead ahead.

The road finally got too narrow for the car, so he had to stop. He turned off the car and got out. The mountain was right there. He thought he could make it. He followed the road until it turned into a trail and then he followed that. It was slow going and every movement was an effort. Then the trail started to ascend. His breathing became labored and he was sweating. His knees were throbbing, but he kept on. Every three or four steps he had to stop and catch his breath. Then every two, and pretty soon each step was a monumental task. He willed one foot to move, and thirty seconds later he willed the other foot. It was all-consuming. He was too tired to look up. All his concentration was on getting that next foot to move.

Then, almost imperceptibly, the trail leveled off. He stopped and leaned against a tree. He caught his breath. He looked up and there was a gate. It was a big arched stone gate with two massive wooden doors. “Well, that’s great,” he thought. “How am I going to open that?” When he felt ready he walked up to the gate. There was a plaque on one of the doors. His eyes were so weak he had to bend in close to read it. It said:

You have come to Mount Zion, to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the judge of all men, to the spirits of righteous men made perfect, to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant.

They were the most beautiful words he’d ever read. They filled him with wonder, and he wanted to go through, but the gate was impossible. “Well,” he thought, “it can’t hurt to try.” He reached out, and as soon as the tip of his finger brushed the wood, the gate flew open wide. The scene before him was so magnificent that he just started laughing. A holy joy filled every fiber of his being. He surveyed all that was before him and it satisfied every longing of his heart. Almost without thinking he started singing and immediately he realized he was part of the Everysong. Then he saw the great golden road and people walking and singing all along it.

“Well, Joe, what are you waiting for?” and he stepped through the gate.

The Race Marked Out For Us, Part One

Joe got up from the desk, closed his Bible and walked down the hall to Java Judy’s. There was a big line at the counter, mostly working people and college students in a hurry to get on with their day. Ellie was busy, which was good. Joe went behind the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee. He sat down at his usual table and opened the paper. The front page was all ablaze with the news of an oil spill up the coast. Joe wondered if his beach had been affected. Hard to tell from the map. He turned to the sports section. The baseball team was working real hard to have another mediocre season. The weather said there was a fifty percent chance of rain on Friday. By the time Joe had finished reading the comics all Ellie’s customers had filed out with cups in their hands.

“Hey, Ellie,” Joe said, “Did you see they are going to tear down the old opera house to put in condominiums?”

“Yeah, I heard that. Sad to see it go. I loved that old place. I saw them do A Christmas Carol there when I was ten. Took my breath away.”

“Somebody’s version of progress, I guess.”

“I guess. Say, I’ve been meaning to ask you, how is Reverend Steve doing?”

“Not too bad, I guess. The stroke set him back. It’s too bad he had to go into assisted living, but he gets a lot of visitors. I’m going to see him tomorrow.”

“That’s great. Tell him I said, ‘hi’ and that I’m praying for him, willya?”

“Sure thing. Say, I wanted to remind you of the big shindig this weekend.”

“The Cherrywood Fountain Festival? How could I forget? Last year it was my biggest weekend ever. I ordered extra everything for this weekend. I’m going to be rich.”

“Can you believe it’s been two years? So much has happened.” Joe paused. “A lot of good though.”

“A lot of good, Joe. Do you still miss her?”

“I think about her almost every day, so sure I miss her, but you know, it’s okay now. Life here is good. My job is a lot easier than it used to be and I’ve had the privilege to minister to more people than I thought possible.”

“By the way, thanks for the Bible.”

“If you have any questions, write them down. If I can’t answer them, I’m sure Polycarp could next time he comes over.”

“Thanks. Tell him I’ve got a dozen important questions and to get himself over here.”

“Tell him yourself. You’ve got his number.”

“Maybe I will, Joe.”

“I think he’d like that.” Joe looked at the clock. “Hey, I’ve got to go. I’ve got someone coming to look at an apartment in a few minutes. See you later.”

Joe had just sat down to look at the calendar on the computer in the office when a woman came in. Joe stood up and extended his hand.

“You must be the gal Sam sent over from the Refuge. My name is Joe.”

She shook his hand. “Hi, Joe I’m Elisabeth.”

“Sam told me you’re looking for an apartment.”

“You don’t recognize me, do you, Joe?”

Joe looked at this woman. She was about his age. She looked familiar, but he couldn’t place her.

“I think you knew me as a blonde,” she said.

Joe looked at her for a long moment and then it dawned on him.

“Randi? Is that really you?”

“Yes it is, Joe.”

“I’m confused. Is it Randi or Elisabeth?”

“Kind of both really. Elisabeth is my first name.”

“Have a seat. Tell me how you’ve been. It’s great to see you again. How long has it been anyway?”

“I think it’s been almost three years.”

“So…?”

“Where do I start? Rich fired me about six months after we met. I’m not proud of what I did, Joe. I-how can I say this?-I offered myself to Rich’s partner with the idea that I could climb to the top on my back, so to speak. It didn’t work, I got fired, and a week later I was back to doing temp work.”

“I’m sorry.”

“My fault and that’s the truth. Well, temp work wasn’t paying the bills. After a couple of months I was living in my car. That was awful. I was changing clothes in a hotel restroom, going to the food bank, and fearing for my life. I got mugged twice…once, I got raped. That’s when I knew I needed help. Someone told me about the Refuge. Sam and everyone took me in. They not only saved my life, they literally loved me into the kingdom. I follow the Way now.”

“Wow. I mean, I’m sorry all that happened to you, but I’m glad you found the Way. So, what brings you out here?”

“Well, I got a job in an office not far from here. Sam thought this might be a good fit for me.”

“That’s great. I’ve got two apartments I’d like to show you.”

Joe showed her the units. She liked the one on the third floor.  A week later she signed the lease and moved in. He was happy to be able to help her restart her life. Joe had rented to people he knew before and it was always kind of awkward at first because their relationship needed to readjust. Before it was friend to friend and then they had to add tenant to manager to that. It could be a little complicated, but it always seemed to work. As it turned out Joe saw Elisabeth little more than the once a month she came to pay her rent. She was so busy with her new job she barely had time for a social life. She never came to any of the Cherrywood get-togethers. That’s why Joe was surprised that next spring when he saw Elisabeth drinking coffee by herself at Java Judy’s. She looked up when he walked in.

“Hey, stranger,” she laughed, “fancy meeting you here.”

“Yeah, what a surprise. What brings you here on a weekday?”

“My boss is Irish. He always closes the office on Saint Patrick’s Day.”

“I suppose that saved you from having to wear all green today.”

“Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Would you like to have a cup with me?”

Joe got himself some coffee and sat down.

“Joe I’ve been wanting to tell you how sorry I am about what happened to you. When Polycarp found out I was applying for an apartment here, he kind of filled me in.”

“I appreciate your thoughts. Thanks.”

“You doing okay?”

“I think so. It was extremely hard for a while, and now it’s just hard. God has been good and I’ve got good friends around me.”

“So, what’s in your future? Do you have plans?”

“Yeah, I do. I’d like to stay here for the foreseeable future. I read the statistics somewhere that the percentage of people who live in apartments who don’t follow the Way is extremely high. Something like eighty or ninety percent.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, so I think I’d like to stay living in an apartment just so I can introduce people to the Way. I mean that’s how I got this job. I think I want to make it a life choice.”

“So, no house in the suburbs, three car garage and a Golden Retriever?”

“Probably not. I think about people who want to be missionaries in some foreign land. They gave up that dream because they felt a burden for the people of that land. My burden is for apartment people.”

“Apartment people?”

“Apartment dwellers didn’t sound right.”

“No, I suppose not.” She said laughing.

“So, what about you?”

“Good question. I’m right there at the beginning of a new life. I don’t know, really. I’m just trying to figure it out. I’ve found the Seven Truths, and Maria told me about the Basic Lessons. I want to know more about all that. But as far as career or whatever, that’s another deal. I did poorly at that before and almost destroyed myself. I think I’m going to ‘keep on keeping on’ as they say and see how God leads.”

“I’ll be praying for you.”

“Thanks, Joe.”

“It has been really nice talking to you, Elisabeth. I think God has great plans for you. I’m sorry, though, I’ve got to get to the bank and make a deposit.”

“I guess you can’t close Cherrywood for Saint Paddy’s Day.”

“Or any other day for that matter.”

Joe turned and started to leave, but then he stopped. He walked back to her table and said,

“Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?”

“Yes I would.”

“Great. I’ll stop by when I get back from the bank. We can make plans.”

“You know where I live.”

They both laughed, and Joe smiled all the way to the bank.

The Evidence of Things Not Seen

Joe got to the bottom of the stairs, looked up, and started out. As he walked back down the trail to the car a couple of things came to mind: his job and Polycarp. In his black anguish he’d burned all his bridges. He didn’t know what to do about the job. He had already been on probation. He figured he ought to at least call Bob and bring closure to the whole thing. He could do that when he was back in the city. As far as Polycarp was concerned, he wasn’t going to have to wait. When Joe got back to the car he saw Polycarp leaning against it. As soon as Joe emerged from the trees Polycarp looked up. Joe approached him not knowing what to expect. Fear and hope were sparring with each other in his heart.

“Pol, I don’t know what to say…” Joe trailed off.

“How about ‘hello, Polycarp. How did you find me?”

“How did you find me?”

“My detective friend helped. When you scanned your card at the gas station, it made it a lot easier. Then it was a matter of asking around, trial and error, and lots of prayer.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Got here this morning. Saw the car and decided you needed the time, so I had my buddy drop me off, and I just waited.”

“You didn’t know how long I was going to be up there.”

“Didn’t matter. I needed to be here when you got back. I needed resolution.”

“About the funeral, I am so sorry. Your heart was right, mine was dead. You are a better man than I am.”

“Don’t say that, Joe. There’s nowhere to go with that. Look, I had to interpret what happened in context. Everything I’d known of you up to that moment was good. I saw so many decent qualities and noble virtues in you, what happened at the cemetery was an exception, not the rule. That doesn’t make it okay, Joe. Let me be honest, it hurt bad. But you are my friend. I think I can say you are my best friend. I don’t want that to change. I want us to see it as a glitch, not a deal breaker. If you forgive me, I forgive you. Okay?”

“Yes, of course,” Joe said immediately. “I can’t go back, but if you’re willing to let me continue to be your friend, then I want to go forward.”

“So, how are you doing?”

“Oh, you know, it hurts terrible. I miss her so much. I think it’s going to take me a long while to feel normal again, but I believe I’m not going to be overrun by grief. I think I will come to a point where I can manage it.”

“I’m glad to hear it brother.” Polycarp paused then said, “Look, I don’t want to change the subject, but I’m starved. Can we head back to that little café I passed and get some grub?”

“And coffee. I need some coffee.”

“Not to mention, you owe me a game of Cribbage.”

“Yeah, that’s right. Why don’t we take off.

Joe and Polycarp reminisced the whole rest of the morning, sharing stories about Felicitas. It was good for Joe to talk of her, and laugh a little. After breakfast, Polycarp asked Joe about Cherrywood.

“To be honest, I don’t know. I think I’ll call Bob and just see what happens.”

“Why don’t you call him now?”

Joe hit the speed dial on his phone and listened to the ring. Bob picked up.

“Joe, is that you? Where have you been?”

“Hi, Bob. I just took off. Polycarp found me and we’re on our way back.” Joe paused, then, “Say about the manager job…”

“What about it?”

“Have you hired anyone else yet?”

Bob laughed. “I’ve got a manager, Joe. Do you really think I took that call seriously? I knew what you were going through. Besides, Joe, didn’t I say I would stand by you and walk with you?”

“Yeah.”

“What kind of friend would I be if I backed away from that the first time you had trouble?”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on back, Joe. Cherrywood is your home and your ministry. Our ministry. Okay?”

“Thanks, Bob. I will.”

“And if you need more time, take it.”

“No, I think it would be better if I went back to work.”

“Great.”

“I need to get the keys.”

“What keys?”

“I gave the apartment keys to Ellie.”

“She didn’t mention it. You’d better ask her.”

They hung up and Joe related everything to Polycarp.

“So, you want to head back to the apartments?” Polycarp asked.

“Do you think we could stop at the cemetery first?”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea.”

Later that day they pulled in to the circular drive at the cemetery. They got out and walked up to the site. The headstone wasn’t there yet. There was just a little marker identifying the grave. The sod had been put back, but there were still remnants of fresh dirt in the grass. They stood there silently for a while and Joe couldn’t stop the tears from coming. Neither could Polycarp.

“I’m going back to the car, Joe.” Polycarp finally said.

“Okay. I’ll be along in a minute or two.”

When he was alone, Joe said, “I’m saying goodbye babe. I can’t lie and say I’m alright with this. But I can’t change it.  I think I might be able to cope sometime down the road, but there is a lot of ground between here and there. I love you and I miss you. I wish you’d stayed.” Joe knelt down and gently placed his hand in the grass. He closed his eyes. “It was so good to have you in my life. I’m a better person for it. Goodbye.”

Joe got up and walked back to the car. When he climbed in Polycarp said:

“Thanks, Joe. I’m really glad we stopped. You okay?”

“I’ve been better, but one day at a time as they say. How about you?”

“The same, I guess. I’m just glad I didn’t lose both of you.”

“Thanks for coming for me.”

They drove back to Cherrywood and went straight to Java Judy’s. When they walked in Ellie came right around the corner and hugged Joe.

“I’m so sorry, Joe. If there’s anything I can do.”

“I’m staying. I talked to Bob and he wants me to continue on.”

“Yes!”

“Thanks, Ellie. Uh, what about the keys?”

“You mean these?” She held Joe’s keys out in front of her.

“Yeah, what gives?”

“Well, I know you dropped them off here, told Bob you quit and all that, but I wasn’t ready for you to quit. I think you can be a great manager, and I think you are good for Cherrywood. I just thought I’d wait until, you know, I had to give them back. Now I do and here they are.”

“Dude!” Polycarp said. “Gal’s got class, Joe.”

“Well, thank you, Ellie. You knew more about me than I knew about myself.”

“I’ve done a lot of eavesdropping when you came in her with Steve or your big buddy here.”

“Polycarp.”

“Okay, with Polycarp. I couldn’t help but hear a lot of what you talked about. This place is pretty small. Anyway, I could see that you had something. I don’t know if I get all the God stuff, but I could see you had character.”

“Maybe we could talk about it sometime.”

“Okay. Let me think about it for a while. I have some questions. Maybe I could ask and you could tell me what you think.”

“Sounds good.”

Joe and Polycarp went back to the apartment.

“You know, Joe, there is something we haven’t talked about,” Polycarp said as they got inside.

“What’s that?”

“Blake.”

“Yeah, I thought about Blake this morning.”

“What’s the plan?”

“I don’t know for sure. I wanted to ask you the same thing.”

“Do you remember before when we were sitting at Judy’s and I mentioned The Duck Test? Well, I’m convinced now more than ever that Blake follows the Enemy.”

“I agree. What do we do now?”

“Nothing overt. Neither of us is in any shape to deal with Blake. I think, as I said before, we should pray, put our faith in God, and wait.”

“Okay.”

“Remember when we talked that our struggle is not against flesh and blood? Read that whole section. I don’t remember the exact verses, but it’s in Ephesians six.”

“Will do.”

“Listen, if you’re okay, I’m going to head back to the Refuge.”

“Thanks again, Pol.”

“I miss her too, Joe, but we are going to make it.”

After Polycarp left Joe realized how tired he was. It had been three nights since he slept in a bed. He walked once around the complex and then turned in. He woke up the next morning feeling better. He hadn’t thought that was possible, but there it was. He got coffee from Ellie and came back and sat at the little desk he and Felicitas had dragged up from the down stairs. He opened his Bible and found the passage in Ephesians Polycarp had mentioned. It talked about putting on the full armor of God so you could fight against the devil. Joe took out a yellow pad and made a list of the different parts of the armor. There was the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, feet fitted with peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit. Joe wasn’t sure how this worked. Why was truth a belt? But he got the general idea. He could not overcome the Enemy in his life if he wasn’t protected by God. That much was easy to see.

After he’d finished studying, Joe came to two conclusions. The first was that he needed to spend some time like this every morning studying God’s word, and praying. Secondly, he couldn’t avoid Blake just because he felt weak right now. He had a job to do and God would protect him. As it turned out he saw Blake that same day. He was finishing the repair job to the fence that had been interrupted by everything else when Blake drove up in his pickup and parked. Joe put his screw gun down and stood up when he saw him.

“I thought you quit.” Blake said across the parking lot.

“I did, but I came back.” Joe began to walk over to Blake when something strange happened. As he approached, Blake jumped back in his truck saying, “I gotta go. I-I forgot something.” He started the engine, backed out and drove off.

Joe wasn’t sure, but as he drove by, it seemed Blake looked scared. No, it was more than that. He looked terrified. It didn’t make sense. Joe didn’t have a tool in his hand, he didn’t feel like he posed a threat to Blake in any way, but Blake surely seemed like he wanted to avoid him at all costs.

“What happened?” Joe asked Steve at coffee the next morning.

“My opinion: the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”

“That sounds interesting.”

“It’s from First John. John tells us to test the spirits to see if they are from God or not. Any spirit that does not recognize that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not from God. He says we have overcome those who are not from God because God is greater than their master.”

“You mean Satan.”

“That’s right.”

“So, because of God, we are stronger than the Enemy?”

“Right again. In fact the book of James says: “Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Blake is not the devil, but I think he’s controlled by him. You resisted and he fled.”

“How did I resist?”

“You came back. He threw his worst at you and you kept your faith. Think about that for a moment.”

“I’m thinking about how close I came to losing my faith, Steve. I have to be honest about that.”

“It’s good you are, but remember success in the Christian life is not about the struggle, it’s about the victory.”

“Well, I had you and Bob and Polycarp.”

“Proverbs says: ‘A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.’”

“Thank you, Steve.”

Three weeks went by. Joe kept up his routine of studying and praying in the morning. He was growing in knowledge and he began to feel more and more like he could handle the grief. He still had that sinking feeling and loneliness. It surprised him how much he missed her. A myriad little things reminded him of her. He’d find a sticky note she’d left about something, or he’d get in the car and catch a faint vestige of her perfume. Even more surprising, he’d see someone and think it was her: a gal in a car going by or someone at the store with her hair color. For a heartbeat hope would spring to life and then just as quickly reality would defeat it. Every time he thought of her sadness would well up, but the sadness was no longer debilitating.

As the weeks went by it became obvious Blake was avoiding Joe. He put his rent in the slot even when Joe was in the office. If he saw Joe outside he went the other way. Since that day in the parking lot they had not exchanged one word between them. Then one day it all came to a head. Someone had told him there was some water on the floor in the basement. Joe went downstairs to see if a pipe was leaking. He heard someone in their storage locker and Joe saw it was Blake.

“Hi, Blake.”

Blake looked up suddenly and immediately got agitated. He looked around desperately, but Joe was standing in the only exit.

“What are you doing?” Blake asked.

“Just checking out a leak. What about you? What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Hey, since were talking, can I ask you a question?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you mind?”

“I guess not.”

“Why have you been so hostile to me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“And now you’re not.”

“What?”

“You used to be hostile and now you’re not. What gives?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I think that’s my question, Blake.”

“You don’t know anything. You don’t know what I’m about. You don’t…”

“Let me tell you what I do know, or at least what I think is true. At the park that day you mentioned your boss. When I asked you who that was you said I should already know.”

“You don’t know what you’re doing! You don’t know him.”

“You’re right. I know someone else, and guess what? Your boss has no power over me. I’ve put my faith in the One who rules everything including your boss. This much is true, Blake: God is my Master. He sent his Son into this world who took on human flesh and died for my sins. His blood covered my sin and gave me life everlasting.”

Joe’s speech had a profound effect on Blake. The words ‘flesh’ and ‘died’ and ‘blood’ affected him like body blows. He clenched his fists. His face contorted into an awful mien. He screamed: “WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME? WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?” and lurched past Joe almost knocking him over. It was the last time Joe ever saw Blake. Late that night Joe was reading when the phone rang. It was Mrs. Green.

“He’s moving out.”

“Who’s moving out, Mrs. Green?”

“That man across the hall. Blake.”

Joe went up to the second floor but Blake was already gone. His apartment door was opened but no one was there. All that was left was the furniture and some orange juice in the refrigerator. Joe locked the apartment, told Mrs. Green that everything was okay, and went back to his place.

The next morning when Joe told Steve about it, Steve got up and said:

“Get your keys.”

They went up to Blake’s apartment. Joe opened the door and they went inside. Steve simply said, “Let’s pray.” They walked through every room in the apartment and prayed that the Spirit would cleanse each room and fill this place. They asked for God’s blessing, and they prayed that this would be the last obstacle to the work God wanted to do at Cherrywood. When they were done praying Steve said,

“Hebrews eleven one says: ‘faith is the evidence of things not seen.’ There are two realities, Joe. One of them is quantifiable and the other is not. We have faith that God exists even though we can’t see him. That is also true for angels and demons and all kinds of spiritual powers we can’t even imagine. Blake, and probably Charlie G., were enslaved to those powers. I don’t know exactly how that happened, but you can bet it’s a dark, sad story.”

Joe felt a weight lift from him. He said goodbye to Steve and drove out to the cemetery. He hadn’t been back, but he’d gotten an email from Felicitas’ sister that the gravestone was finished. He parked the car and walked up to her grave. He knew she wasn’t there, she was with her Lord, but he wanted to stop by anyway. He walked around the grounds looking at different inscriptions and dates, wondering about the people who preceded these memorials. Were they any more than just memories? Did their lives have meaning? Had they left behind any kind of legacy? Then he came to her stone. The family had used her given name “Candace.” It had her dates and below that it said: “Loving daughter. This world was not her home.” Joe knew that nobody in her family followed the Way. Maybe this was a start. The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church.

Powerful and Effective (Part Two)

The phone rang three times before Joe realized he wasn’t dreaming. He fumbled in the dark and finally got it to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Joe, this is Polycarp.

“Yeah?”

“Is Felicitas there?”

“What? No, she left here,” Joe looked at the clock, “almost two hours ago.”

“Well, she hasn’t come back yet. I thought she…I thought she might still be there with you.”

“We said goodbye just after midnight, Pol. That’s all I know.”

“Something’s wrong.”

“Oh my God! Do you think…?” Joe trailed off. He couldn’t say what he feared.

“I don’t know, Joe. If she’s missing…” He couldn’t say it either. “Listen, I’m going to go look for her.”

“I want to come with you.”

“No, I’ve got a friend who’s a private investigator. He knows how to find people.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Pray, Joe. Pray hard and long.” He hung up.

Joe got dressed and made some coffee. He sat down in the living room and bowed his head. “Lord,” he began, “please. Protect her, God. Help her. Help me. Please God, don’t let evil win. I know my prayer is partly selfish, Lord, and I confess that to you, but Felicitas, she’s not selfish. She’s been through so much. Please Lord, not this, not now. She turned her back on that life. She promised to follow you all her days. She’s been faithful, God. Hold her now. Don’t let her…don’t let her suffer pain, Lord. Guide Polycarp Lord. Help him to help her.” Tears filled his eyes. “Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe, God, she just had a flat tire, or ran out of gas. But I’m worried for her. I can’t bear the thought of her being hurt or scared. Please God don’t let this happen! I’m begging you. Please…please…” Joe ran out of words to say. He just kept Felicitas in his thoughts and presented her to God. Eventually he fell asleep. When he woke up he felt guilty for sleeping. He prayed even harder. An hour had gone by and still no phone call from Polycarp. Joe started pacing and praying. He drank some coffee, but that just made him more agitated. He sat back on the couch. When his phone rang he almost jumped out of his socks.

“I found her, Joe.”

“Is she okay?”

There was a long pause. Finally, “No, she’s not.”

“Oh my God, no.”

“She’s alive, Joe. She wants to see you. I’m going to text you the address. Hurry.”

Joe put the address into the GPS on his phone and took off. It took him about ten minutes, but it seemed like ten days. He drove up to an old motel not far from where he first encountered the city. There was a beat up sign at the curb with peeling paint. It said “Dockside Motel. Hourly Rates.” It wasn’t too hard to figure what that meant. Joe screeched to a halt next to Polycarp’s car. The door of one of the units was open and the lights were on inside. Joe walked up and looked in. Charlie G. was unconscious on the bed. Polycarp was kneeling over Felicitas who was lying on the floor in the corner.

“I didn’t want to move her, Joe. She’s beat up pretty bad.”

Nothing prepared Joe for what he saw. Her eyes were almost swollen shut. Her face was cut and bruised. Her lips were cut and she appeared to be missing a couple of teeth. Her clothes were torn and bloody. One of her arms was twisted at a cruel angle. Tears came into Joe’s eyes. He looked fecklessly over at Polycarp for some kind of reassurance and saw in his eyes the same hopelessness he himself felt. Joe knelt down too and touched her hair and a jolt went through him like a megawatt. His heart ached. He’d never felt such sorrow and pain. He didn’t have time for the rage. That would come later.

“Hey, babe, I got here as fast as I could.”

“Hi, Joe,” she whispered. “I wished I’d stayed.”

“Ah, babe. Me too.” He was crying harder now.

“I’m going outside to call the cops, Joe.”

“Okay.”

Felicitas reached out with her good arm and took his hand. He held on to her as if by doing so he could take her pain. If only he could. Instead he lay down next to her and put his mouth up to her ear.

“I’m going to pray for you.” He could feel her feeble attempt to nod.

“Oh, God, please cradle your child. Sustain her Lord. Please, God, spare her this once. Let her rise above the evil in this place. Let her live. The world needs beautiful souls like hers, Lord. I need her. Please, Lord, don’t let the Enemy have a victory tonight.”

She squeezed his hand. “Could you…the Bible?”

Joe got up and found a Gideon Bible by the bed. He lay back down by her.

“Psalm twenty three,” she whispered.

Joe found the passage and read it lying next to her on the floor.

“The Lord is my shepherd,” he began.  “I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Joe felt her stir. “Look at me, Joe.”

Joe got back on his knees. He looked into her eyes one more time.

“I love you, Joe,” and then she was gone.

Then there was nothing but silence. Silence and pain. Then Joe heard a sound, low, guttural and awful, but it wasn’t coming from him. He looked up and Polycarp was standing behind him, bearing a look of absolute devastation. The sound grew and grew. It filled the room. It filled the world. It expressed every injustice, every loss, every love slammed to the pavement by evil. It was the keening of a soldier’s wife, the wail of Esau when he lost his birthright, the anguish of the messiah when he cried out: “my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” No one could touch that sound because it was borne of love. Love lost. Love conquered. Love undone. Then the sound was in his soul. It became his sound and he became the sound. It shook him and rattled his bones and destroyed him until there was nothing left. Joe lay back down next to Felicitas and wished he could die with her or for her.

“I hear sirens, Joe,” Polycarp said. But Joe was useless. He had no strength, no will. He could barely breathe, much less get up and answer questions. But Polycarp helped him sit up and the police came and for a while there was nothing but questions. Thankfully, the questions were mostly for Polycarp. Joe sat against the wall with his knees drawn up and his head down. Finally someone came and asked him to move. They had to look at the body. Her body. Joe got up and someone helped him out of the room. As he went by the bed Charlie G. stirred and suddenly Joe felt the rage that had been patiently waiting. If he could, right now he would take Charlie by the throat…but then Joe remembered that you can’t kill a dead man and went out of the room.

The next hours were a blur. It was almost sunrise when Joe left the motel. He drove back to the apartments and climbed in bed with his clothes on and slept until the phone rang. It was a reporter. He mumbled ‘no’ into the phone, hung up and fell back asleep again. After that he remembered nothing until Bob woke him up knocking on his door.

“I’m so sorry, Joe. Sam called and I came right over,” Bob said as he gave Joe a big hug. “Now, listen. I want you to take a couple of days off, as long as you need. I’ve already arranged for someone to stand in for you here. Don’t worry about anything, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Sam said you could stay at the Refuge if you wanted.”

“Okay.”

Bob went over and got some coffee from Ellie and brought it back.

“Ellie wanted me to express her sympathy for your loss, Joe. She broke down when I gave her the bad news.”

“Tell her thanks.”

They sat and drank coffee in silence for half an hour until Steve came by. Since it appeared they already knew each other, Joe didn’t get up. Steve sat down next to Bob. Then the three of them sat in silence until Joe finally said,

“I don’t get it. I don’t understand why God would allow this to happen. It’s all so senseless and out of context.”

“Well,” Steve began, “that is the question of the ages, Joe. Let me say right off that this is not punishment. You cannot blame yourself for this as if God were judging you for a past sin or something. That is just not true. It does not apply to you or to Felicitas. Second, there is a theological discussion about why God allowed this to happen, but I don’t think you need to hear that right now. Ask me about it later, when you’re ready. The hard news is, Joe, I don’t have an answer to that. You may never know the reason why.”

“I don’t like that.”

“I know, Joe. I know you’re hurting. We all are, not in the same way as you, but she meant a lot to everyone.”

“Oh, God.” Joe started crying again. Again they sat silently. Finally Joe got up and blew his nose and sat back down. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Joe. There is nothing wrong with the pain you feel right now. It’s part of the gift of love. You loved her and your souls bonded. You wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. It’s only right for you to feel the way you do.”

“Well, I feel awful. I feel lonely and empty.”

Bob got up and sat on the couch. “Joe, I think what Steve is saying is that it’s okay to grieve. Five years ago my little boy died of cancer. Now, I’m not going to tell you that everything will get better. I hurt every time I think about him. But I do know this, Joe. This pain will not destroy you. Yeah, it hurts like hell right now, literally, but it will not defeat you. I won’t let it, okay?”

“And neither will I, Joe. We will walk with you, right next to you for as long as it takes.”

“Thanks, ‘cause I feel like I’ve got a long way to walk.”

“You know, Joe,” Steve said, “Just because we don’t have some of the answers, doesn’t mean we don’t have any.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like I said, we may never know why God allowed Felicitas to die, but what do we know?” He continued without waiting for an answer. “We know God exists and we know he is love. Sometimes, like right now, that is all we know, but it’s enough.”

“It sure doesn’t feel like it.”

“Do you think God loves you?” Steve asked gently.

“Yes.”

“Then hang on to that in faith even though you don’t have the answer to your other question.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“If your friends stand with you, do you think you have a better shot at it?”

“I guess.”

“Let’s start there.”

Later that day Sam came over, picked Joe up, and took him back to the Refuge. He went straight up to his old room, threw his stuff on the floor and flopped on the bed. He didn’t want to move for a long time. A couple of hours later someone knocked on his door and asked if he wanted something to eat and he said no.

When Joe woke up it was dark and he was cold. He kicked off his shoes and crawled under the blankets. He tried hard not to, but he couldn’t help thinking about all the plans they’d made. It all seemed so meaningless now. They were going to get married at the little park Joe had found so long ago. It was one of Felicitas’ favorite places in the city as well. For their honeymoon they were going to go on a sailboat cruise to an island and they were going to sit in the sun for two weeks. Then back to Cherrywood and a new life together. So, he’d have to call and cancel his reservation of the park, call and cancel his reservation on the boat, and figure out how to live without her for the rest of his life. The first two would be hard the third, impossible. Joe turned his face to the wall. It wouldn’t be the last time he fell asleep with tears in his eyes.

The next day Sam came and knocked on his door. Joe forced himself out of bed and answered it.

“Joe, they found Felicitas’ car at a gas station. Keys were still in it. We brought it back, and I think you should have it. Here are the keys.”

Joe took the keys, said thanks and Sam left. He lay back down on the bed with the keys still in his hand.

The funeral was on Saturday. They had the service at the Refuge. There was maybe a hundred people in attendance. Felicitas’ family was there. Joe had not yet met them. That was supposed to be next weekend. They all looked at each other with sad eyes, and grasped each other’s hands meaningfully, and tried to say comforting words, but really, the only thing they had in common was lying in the casket.

The pastor, a friend of Sam’s, was the same person who was to marry them in five weeks, or thirty five days, or whatever. When everyone was seated he came to the front with his Bible.

“I’m sorry we are here today. Candace’s death seems so senseless and unnecessary.”

Joe had to remind himself that was her real name. Apparently her mom and step dad wanted it that way. Nobody felt the need to ask him what he thought. Maybe if they’d been married…

“One of my favorite passages in the Bible,” he continued, “is First Corinthians 15. I’d like to read a few select verses from this great chapter and make a couple of comments. In verse twenty it says: ‘But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.’ Christ’s resurrection three days after his death is the most significant event in human history. Not only did it guarantee the power of his sacrifice, but it also guarantees our resurrection. Let me put this another way, Jesus as risen and because of that Candace has risen. I believe she is with him this very moment looking on his smiling face. That means that death has no power, no victory over us. Later in this chapter it says: ‘Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.’ We hurt now. We feel that pain from a great, great loss. But we are not conquered. Because of Christ, this life does not have the final say. The final say is when the Lord sees you and exclaims, ‘Well done good and faithful servant.’ We weep for a time now. It’s good to weep when you’ve lost someone. But a day is coming when the Lord will wipe every tear from our eyes. He knows our suffering and he knows how to comfort us.

“We are here today, in part, to say goodbye. I know that this is hard. We don’t want to say goodbye to so final a circumstance. But listen! It’s not final. We will walk with her again. We will see her smiling face and we will be smiling too.

“This chapter concludes with the words, ‘Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you.’ That is true because death has no power. That fact has emboldened millions of believers over the centuries. The second century writer Justin Martyr once said: ‘You can kill us, but cannot do us any real harm.’ He went on to prove that with his life. I believe that Candace died for her faith. She is every bit a martyr as Justin was. I don’t understand why God does certain things and not others, but I do know this: nothing is wasted. No life given to him is ever wasted, and certainly no death in his name.”

The pastor prayed and then they went out to the cars and followed the hearse to the cemetery. The sun was shining and it was seventy degrees. “Funny,” Joe thought, “In the movies it always rains at funerals.” The pastor said a few words and then quoted the ‘earth to earth, ashes to ashes’ stuff that Joe had heard somewhere. Another prayer and then it was over. They lowered the casket into the grave and a few people threw flowers in, but Joe just stood and watched. He felt numb and just wanted everyone to go away so he could suffer alone. Finally everyone did. Joe watched while the cemetery people started putting dirt in the grave. Polycarp was waiting for him in the car and so he walked over and got in. Polycarp didn’t start the car. He just turned in his seat and looked at Joe. Joe could see big tears running down from behind his sunglasses.

“Joe,” he tried to begin, but paused. “Joe I have to say this. I cannot hold it in any longer. I made you a promise. I told Felicitas the same thing.  I promised to protect her, Joe, and I didn’t. I failed her…and I failed you. It’s my fault, Joe. I can’t stand it, but I have to ask you: can you forgive me?”

There it was. Joe had been avoiding thinking about it. He’d thought all around it, but there it was. He was angry, angrier than he’d ever been in his life and Polycarp had just articulated its source. He should have said, ‘It’s okay, man. I hold nothing against you,’ but he didn’t. He didn’t say anything. He sat there looking at his feet saying nothing. Then he got out of the car, slowly closed the door and walked away. It was the worst thing he ever did in his life.

Joe walked back to the Refuge. It took him an hour. He went upstairs trying to avoid everyone. It wasn’t too hard. The staff was all in the lounge praying. Joe took his stuff out to what was now his car and drove off. He went to Cherrywood and called Bob and told him he was quitting. He left the work keys at the coffee shop and took off. He didn’t know where he was going, just as far away from her memory as the road would take him. He drove out of town on a long bridge that crossed the river that had first brought Joe to the city. He followed the coast south. After an hour or so he saw a wayside and pulled into the parking lot. There was a trail through some small dunes covered with high grass. Joe found an old Adirondack chair. It was weathered and worn. Some of the nails had worked out and the slats had popped up at an odd angle. He didn’t care. He dropped his stuff in the sand and himself in the chair. It was maybe an hour before sunset and Joe just sat and listened to the waves creep across the sand. This wasn’t like when he was trapped on the beach. He was here by choice, not necessity. But just like then he felt alone. So it was good to be alone. Joe sat motionless until the sun was level with the horizon. The sense of loss washed over him and the tears came again. Sam had once told him his best days were ahead of him, but that was hard to get ahold of right now. Everything seemed bad or messed up. The sun set and it got dark. Joe sat until all he could see were stars and the lights from a few ships. It got cold and he climbed inside his sleeping bag and sat back in the chair. The future may be all bright and hopeful, but the present was a train wreck: death and damage everywhere. It hurt to think he’d never see Felicitas again and it hurt to think of all the people he’d let down or alienated. He might be able to reconcile with Polycarp, but Felicitas was not coming back. “Must not be God’s will,” Joe said aloud in a voice full of sarcasm, regret and anger. Finally he just ran out of energy. He lowered his chin to his chest, closed his eyes and in a few minutes he was asleep.

At some point in the night Joe had a dream. He was back in the city. Sam had bought a bus for the Refuge and hired Joe as the driver. Not long after he took off he discovered the bus’s brakes were almost gone. If he pumped them he could stop when he needed, but at some point he was distracted. He looked up and the light had turned red. He stomped on the brake, but it only slowed the bus and he banged into the car in front of him. That car hit the car in front of that and before it was done the bus and four cars had been damaged. He got out and tried to call nine-one-one, but he didn’t have a signal. He had to walk to the next block until he could get through. On his way back he started to cross the street, but was nearly hit by two cop cars responding to his call. But by the time he got back to the accident no one was there. The cops weren’t there and all the cars had gone. He was examining the front bumper when a seagull woke him up.

It was just starting to get light. The tide was out so far he could barely hear the waves. He heard a voice and off to his right he saw some beachcombers looking for shells or some other thing. As they got closer he saw it was a man and a woman. They were holding hands. Then the woman bent down and picked up an object looked at it and showed it to the man. It made her happy and that made him happy. They didn’t see Joe and walked on. Eventually he couldn’t see them anymore and he was alone again.

Joe got his stuff and walked back to the truck. He threw everything in the cab and got behind the wheel. He started the engine. He had plenty of gas and nowhere to go. He put the truck in gear and pulled out of the parking lot. To his left the road led back into the city. Joe turned right and headed to someplace else. Anyplace else. After a couple of hours he saw some mountains in the distance. It didn’t look like his mountain, he was facing the wrong direction, but he decided to go get lost. He stopped at a store and bought some food and orange juice. He drove out of the suburbs, out of almost every vestige of civilization and into the unknown. He drove for two solid hours and then turned right on to a gravel road that led toward an intriguing looking canyon. As he climbed in elevation the hills began to close in on him. Soon the road was one lane with no place to pull off. The hills became cliffs and it got darker and darker. It was still only late morning, but the sun didn’t grace this place, Joe thought. Suddenly the road ended in a wide spot. Joe turned off the engine, got out and locked the doors. Opposite the road was a trail that led into some of the thickest trees Joe had ever seen. Even the woods around Luther’s cabin weren’t this thick. “Perfect,” Joe thought as he stepped onto the trail. He hadn’t walked fifty feet when it came to his attention that it was completely silent in these woods. The dead calm was almost an assault. At first it felt like he’d gone deaf, but he snapped his fingers and the sound was as loud as ever. The more he walked the darker it became until he felt like he was walking in a shadow. Under normal circumstances the whole event would have filled him with trepidation. Joe thought it was truly odd how anger and depression trumped fear.

Joe followed the trail. He’d spent a lot of time in the outdoors. In the old days he took a trail because it led somewhere. Not today. Not once did he wonder where this trail led. Not once did he think about food or water or going back or going forward. He just walked. Hours went by. Eventually it got dark. Joe walked for a while and soon he came to a clearing. It was really nothing more than a wide spot in the trail. It wasn’t any bigger than his former bedroom at Cherrywood. Joe stopped there, threw down his sleeping bag and built a little fire. He crawled into his sleeping bag and lay there watching the flames, then the embers, and finally nothing at all. It was so dark he could tell no difference between when his eyes were open or closed. So he just lay there in the night looking at the darkness.

Joe woke the next morning and stood up. He surveyed his surroundings and was surprised to find that he was actually at the end of the trail. It ended at a rock wall higher than the tops of the trees. But even more surprising was the stairway carved into the rock. Joe could see blue sky at the top of the stairs and so he packed up his few belongings and prepared to make his ascent. As he put his foot on the bottom step he noticed that someone had chiseled something in the rock about eye level. Joe looked closer. It said: “Hebrews 4:16.” Joe had neglected to bring his Bible with him, so he tried to commit the verse to memory but by the time he was halfway up the stairs he couldn’t remember it.

Joe reached the top and came out on a cliff. The cliff was in fact a ledge. He walked up to the other cliff rising straight above him, but there was no stairs so he turned around. He was above the tree tops and he could see for miles. But he also noticed a stone monument close to where the stairway breached the cliff. Joe walked over to investigate. The monument was about Joe’s height and close to three feet square. It was made of dressed stone. Joe thought about how much work it must have taken to put this monument in this spot. If it was the same person who made the stairway it was even more impressive. Joe saw a plaque embedded in the stone. There was a poem written on the plaque:

Sometimes

Sometimes we can’t see the forest.

Sometimes we can’t see the trees.

Sometimes life lifts us to its highest.

Sometimes life brings us to our knees.

Sometimes

But sometimes when we’re on our knees

We ask the Lord to hear our pleas

We bear our soul and hope he sees

We state our case and he agrees.

Sometimes

But every time we’re kneeling there.

Our face upturned to God above.

We listen and hear God declare:

I love you with unfailing love.

Joe wondered what all this meant: a dark, depressing valley, the trail, the stair and now this. Then Joe noticed an inscription below the poem. “Written in honor of the three missionary sisters who were all killed on the same day. Even while their persecutors took turns shooting them with arrows, the sisters were singing praises to their Lord. Though their lives ended that day, their story did not. As of this writing over a hundred people, both home and abroad, have given their lives to follow The Way as a direct result of their martyrdom.

Joe walked around the pillar. On the other side, facing the valley he’d walked through the day before, was another plaque. This one said: “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church. –Tertullian.” Joe had remembered seeing his statue in the park. The same park he was to be wed in. The same park where he was confronted by the man who orchestrated the events that led to Felicitas’ death. Then Joe remembered something else. It was something the pastor said at the funeral yesterday, something to the effect that no life given to God is ever wasted. All of this sounded good. Had Joe read that at any other time since he became a believer, he would have affirmed its truth. But now, with grief eating away at him like a cancer, it was hard to process. He sat down hard on the ground and leaned against the pillar. ‘Wouldn’t it be easier’ he thought, ‘to just stay here until I join her?’ Of course, that’s what he really had to admit to himself. He felt like dying. He didn’t want to live without her.

Then something happened. Something profound. As Joe sat there he looked up at the cliff in front of him and the similarity could not be mistaken. It reminded him of his beach, and when that thought entered his thinking all of a sudden, all the events that had happened to him, washed over him like waves. From when he first met Philo until that horrible night at the motel, one after another in succession, they flashed before him. But it wasn’t the events themselves that struck him that struck him as profound; it was the grand idea that God had been there through each one, and that God had ordained them one and all. Joe reached up and touched the scar Bruiser had given him. Even that turned out to serve God’s purposes. If it weren’t for that scar, Bruiser might not be a follower. Joe thought about that for a long while and realized that even though God did not want Felicitas to die, her death could be used for the glory of the Lord. Joe couldn’t grasp the full meaning of that, but he affirmed what Bob had said, this grief would not destroy him. He still hurt, his still missed her, that would probably never change, but he could finally see it in perspective. All of Blake’s actions were an attack from the enemy. Blake told him as much in the park that afternoon. That sparked another thought: what about Blake? Joe realized he had work to do. He got up and headed down the stairs.

Powerful and Effective (Part One)

After his meeting with Steve, Joe went back to work. He was going to install the pump today, but it was still in Felicitas’ car. It could wait until tomorrow; he still had other projects to work on. Someone had backed into the fence around the dumpster and he needed to repair that. He wrote down what he was going to need and headed off to the hardware store. He got the lumber and the hardware he needed and drove back to Cherrywood. As he turned into the drive he noticed someone sitting at the fountain. He parked the truck by the dumpster and walked around to the front. The man sitting at the fountain didn’t look happy and he didn’t look like he was coming to look at an apartment. He was dressed very well, wearing a nice suit and a dress shirt. But the shirt was open at the collar and he was wearing a gold chain. His hair was combed straight back, and he was wearing expensive sunglasses. Joe had a sinking feeling.

“Can I help you?” Joe asked as he approached.

“Your name Joe?”

“That’s right.”

“Then yeah, you can help me asshole. Give me my whore back.”

“I thought I knew who you were.”

The man stepped up closer to Joe.

“Don’t matter. Charlie G gets Candy back or somebody gets hurt.”

“Candy?”

“You know who I’m talking about. Don’t even try to mess with me. She got some other stupid name now.”

“Felicitas?”

“That’s right.”

“Listen, Charlie. Felicitas is engaged to me. We are going to be married in a few months. She doesn’t work anymore, at least not in what you want her for. She’s put all that behind her when she became a follower of the Way.”

“Yeah I got all that religion crap from the big goon they sent over to scare me off.”

“Well, she’s not coming back to you, Charlie.”

Charlie’s face turned beet red, and he screamed “SHE OWES ME MONEY!”

Joe felt himself getting angry again, but he remembered what Steve had told him just hours ago. He took a deep breath. Then he took out his cell phone.

“Here’s the thing, Charlie. You are on private property. In about two seconds I’m calling the cops, and you can talk to them.”

“He’s here as my guest.” Joe heard the voice behind him and knew immediately who it was. He turned and faced Blake.

“Doesn’t matter, Blake. He threatened me and he threatened Felicitas.”

“He has a right-” Joe turned back to Charlie interrupting Blake.

“Time’s up, Charlie G.

There was a long, tense moment where he and Charlie stared at each other. Joe forced himself to ignore Blake. He felt like he was in an old western. Finally Charlie took a step toward Joe and screamed at him again.

“This aint over! I know what belongs to me. I don’t care what she follows, she’s mine. This aint over.”

Charlie spun on his heel and walked out to the street. Joe watched him until he disappeared around the corner. He turned around and walked past Blake.

“Have a nice day, Blake. Rent’s due on the third.”

“That all you got?” Blake said to Joe’s back. “Why don’t you come back and we’ll talk a while. Or, better yet, you can grab me and rough me up.”

Joe didn’t look back. He went into the office and called Polycarp. He said he hadn’t seen him in a while and he’d really appreciate his perspective on all that had happened. Polycarp said he was going to work out and then he’d come over after that.

Late that afternoon Polycarp came by and they walked over to the coffee shop. Joe was still amazed at how people reacted to this extremely large and disfigured man. Ellie looked frightened and couldn’t speak.

“Ellie, this is my close friend, Polycarp,” Joe began.

“Pleased to meet you Ellie,” Polycarp said as he extended his hand. “I’m harmless.”

Ellie laughed and all the tension emptied from her face. She reached out and shook his hand even though it completely disappeared in his.

“Can we get two coffees?” Joe said.

Ellie poured the coffee and they went over to what was becoming Joe’s customary desk.

“It’s really good to see you,” Joe said as they sat down.

“I’ve been meaning to call you, but you know how it is at the Refuge.”

“I miss you guys.”

“Guys? You miss us guys? You got me to drive all the way across town to say ‘I miss you guys?’”

“No, you’re right. I miss her so much it’s painful. In fact, that’s why I called you. I’m sure you’ve heard what happened. Well, let me rephrase that, I’m sure you heard what I did.”

“Yeah. Bad form, Joe.”

“Tell me about it. Anyway, she called last night, and I’m going to see her tomorrow and then I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to her. No excuses, but I didn’t get any help on women and relationships and all that.”

“Yeah, who did? But listen, Joe. I’m not justifying that you basically lied to your soul mate. That’s what I meant by bad form. But this Blake guy? I’d have done the same thing, and you know me, Joe. I’d probably be in jail right now. So, shame on you, but I understand. And something else, Felicitas and I talked long into the night after she called you. Trust me, everything will be okay with her.”

“Well, that’s just it. Did she tell you what Blake said?”

“I’m not sure.”

“He told her pimp she was still working. He came by today all hot and bothered. He thinks she belongs to him.”

“Figures.”

“You know him, right?”

“Let’s say we met. I convinced him to leave her alone.”

“Do you think…?”

“I know what you want to ask me, Joe, and because we are like brothers, I will honor your request, but let me offer another thought.”

“Okay.”

“The Bible says ‘our struggle is not against flesh and blood.’ So, I could ‘have a talk’ with him again, but I don’t think it’s right.”

“How so? How is this different than the first time?”

“Well, before it was just him, you know? Just a scum bag who needed a firm hand. Well, he needed Jesus too, but he wasn’t listening to any of that. But now…now it’s something different. Now, it’s not flesh and blood kind of issue. You don’t fight the Enemy with these.” Polycarp held up his hands. “Have you ever heard of The Duck Test?” Polycarp asked.

“Are you making this up?”

“No. The Duck Test goes like this: If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Maybe we’re dealing with spiritual forces.”

“You mean like angels and stuff?”

“I mean like demons. That’s what I mean by The Duck Test. If it seems demonic, it might very well be demonic. In other words, Blake, and by extension Charlie G., are tools of the Enemy. That, I think, is the kind of fight we are in.”

“How do you fight against the Enemy?”

“Prayer. It’s a spiritual battle, Joe.”

“Okay. I can see that the way I reacted was all wrong, but what about Felicitas? She was really scared yesterday.”

“I promise to look after her, Joe. You two are like family to me. Trust me, we’ll see this through together.”

“I do trust you, my friend.”

“Now on to other things. Are you prepared to be humbled?”

“What?”

Polycarp took a deck of cards and a travel-sized Cribbage board out of his pocket and put them on the table.

“Ellie, would it be okay with you if we played cards here?”

“I, uh, no. Sure. Do you want more coffee?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Joe won the first game and Polycarp won the second, but before they dealt the third Ellie said:

“I’m going to close in a few minutes, but you can play until I lock up.”

“You know I’m getting famished.” Polycarp said. “Want to go grab a bite and do the rubber game later?”

“Sure.”

“Nice to meet you Ellie,” Polycarp said. “Great coffee.”

“Thanks. Come back and bring your friends.”

After dinner Polycarp dropped Joe off at Cherrywood, and Joe went to bed that night looking forward to seeing Felicitas tomorrow. The next day Joe was cleaning the glass in the entry way when he saw her. He put down his spray bottle and opened the door. She grabbed him and pulled him to her.

“We have to quit meeting like this,” Joe spoke in her ear.

“Someday soon,” was all she said.

“I love you. I’m sorry.”

“You already said that, Joe. Why don’t we put that in the past and move on?”

“Fair enough.”

“Did you hear about yesterday?”

“Yeah.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Well, it bothers me. I hoped for a clean break. I don’t understand why he’s making this issue now.”

“I think I do. Steve talked to me about how Blake wants to destroy the work God wants to do through me. I think he’s behind the whole Charlie thing. If he can stir up that pot to his satisfaction he ruins your ministry, mine, and Bob’s. Kind of like a trifecta of evil.”

“Trifecta of evil? Really?

“Well I suppose someone more mature could have put it better, but that’s all I’ve got and I’m sticking to it.”

“I love you, Joe.”

“Bad word usage and all?”

“Of course. So, how do we deal with this? Do you think he might come back here?”

“Polycarp said I need to pray. This is a spiritual battle and prayer is critical. I was thinking we should spend a few minutes each day praying together. Don’t you think that would be a good place to start?”

“Yeah,” she said emphatically.

“On the other hand, it may be a moot point. I don’t know if I’ll have this job for long.”

“Well then, there is our first prayer concern.”

They went into Joe’s apartment and spent a few minutes in prayer. Both of them prayed for the job at Cherrywood, protection and their lives together. They were interrupted when the phone rang. It was Bob.

“Joe, this is Bob. I didn’t want to leave you hanging. Listen, I don’t want to fire you. I like you a lot and I think you can learn from this. In fact, it might make a better manager out of you in the long run. If you want to stay, I want you to stay. Are we back in business?”

“Definitely. Thank you, Bob. I won’t let you down.”

“I’ll call you in a couple of days.”

Joe hung up the phone. “Did you hear that?”

“I think that was the quickest answer to prayer in the history of answered prayers.”

“You know it just humbles me to think of how gracious God is.”

“This is great news, Joe.”

“It is. Now I guess we ought to get to work.”

“So, what needs to be done?”

“I was cleaning all the windows in the entry, but if you wanted to take over that job I have the fence by the dumpster to finish. Then, if you brought the pump with you, I can work on the fountain.”

The next several weeks were some of the happiest days of Joe’s life. Felicitas came every day and their love seemed to increase as they anticipated their wedding day. Blake backed off when it became obvious he wasn’t going to get Joe fired. Joe would see him from time to time, but he reminded himself that anything Blake said to goad him was an attack against God and he avoided anything serious.

After some trial and error Joe got the fountain running. He knew fall weather was right around the corner, so he decided to have an end of summer barbeque and grand opening. It was a great success. They put lights up in the trees and hung paper lanterns across the courtyard. Joe hired a cook to come and make hamburgers and hotdogs. Blake even made a showing for a while. They had music playing on a boom box and a few people danced. They signed up four new tenants that night with six more applications on Joe’s desk. Joe and Felicitas stayed up late cleaning and putting things away. Already they were making plans for some kind of Christmas celebration. At about midnight they sat down happy and exhausted.

“I’d better get going,” Felicitas said finally.

“How many days now until we don’t have to say goodbye every night?”

“Just five weeks, Joe.”

“Five weeks, let’s see, that’s thirty five days, eight hundred forty hours, fifty thousand four hundred minutes and…”

“How do you know that? Are you some kind of math genius or something?”

“Calculator on my phone.”

Felicitas got up, came over and sat in Joe’s lap. She put her arms around his neck.

“Calculate this. You are my man. I have never loved, nor will I ever love anyone but you.”

“I love it when you tell me you love me. I love you, Felicitas.”

Suddenly Felicitas said, “You know, Joe, I think I’d better go.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to stay.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice.”

“Fifty thousand something or other minutes from now it will be.”

Joe walked her out to her car, kissed her again and watched her drive off into the night. He went back inside with a feeling of contentment and hope unlike anything he’d felt since he came down off the mountain. He went into the bathroom and undressed. He brushed his teeth. He climbed in bed and turned out the light. The last thing he saw was Felicitas’ smiling face in the picture next to his bed.